Aug 25 2008
Please see this You Tube clip on the most important thing you can do to overcome depression. Sorry that we sound a little like Darth Vader - I’m still learning to drive this technology.
Aug 25 2008
The nature of today’s lifestyle is pretty hectic. For those of us that work, being available at all times is often the norm. In this time of relentless deadlines and constant interuptions we rarely have time to reflect on what is really important.
Some time ago I came across www.peacepulse.org
When you open this website to your browser, every hour a little bell sounds and beautiful pciture appears on your computer screen. You then have 1 minute to switch off before another bell sounds. I have been using this for the last couple of years and have been amazed at some of the insights and answers that have come during this quiet time.
Try giving yourself 8 minutes during the day to provide some clarity and replenish your spirit.
Kind Regards
Graeme
Aug 21 2008
In my research for BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO many people wondered about how you go about choosing the right psychologist. You GP is often a great source of guidance. There are also sites like www.goodtherapy.com.au which provide a lot more information than Yellow Pages to help you make a decision. The best way to evaluate a person however is to have a first visit and view it as a test drive:
After the first visit you should ask:
If after answeing these questions you don’t feel comfortable with the psychologist you should endeavour to find another. It is far too important to find someone you have confidence in than to be concerned about hurting anyones feelings. This area is covered in much greater depth in BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO which will be in good bookshops from September 9.
Kind Regards
Graeme
Aug 15 2008
In research I conducted for BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO (launched September 9) many parents expressed concern about how their partner’s depression was impacting on their children.
Children are very perceptive and you need to keep a close eye to see how they are coping. It is an area where it is very hard to find any advice and I had a researcher search the world to find great practical information. Believe it or not we found the best advice on our own doorstep. Northern Sydney Area Health put together a booklet put together by Northern Sydney Area Health called “Support for carers, family, and friends: Uncharted Waters”.
Whilst there is not enough time to fully outline all their recommendations, they stressed that children should be reassured of the following:
1. It’s not their fault – children often believe that they may have caused the illness and it is important that they be reassured of that point.
2. The illness is not catching – They may not bring it up but fear of catching the illness is very real for children. Explain that all causes are not known but it is definitely not contagious.
3. What will happen next – This may not be completely clear yet, but explain to them to the best of your understanding, who will take care of them and what will happen to the unwell person.
Signs to look out for
Some of the signs that a child may not be coping are:
· Inability to get along with other children
· Marked fall in the level of school work
· Change in usual sleeping and eating patterns
· Marked weight gain or loss
· Reluctance to go to school
· Fearfulness
· Restlessness
· Excessive disobedience
· Social withdrawal
If you are concerned about the safety and wellbeing of a child, or if symptoms are lasting more that a few weeks, seek professional help. A good place to start is your GP or the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (or equivalent) at you local area health service. Kids Helpline may also give you some guidance- 1800 55 800.
In BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO, we then provide individual advice for Pre School Aged and Younger Children, Primary School Aged Children, and Adolescents.
There is also an excellent guide and checklist by COMIC (Children of Mentally Ill Consumers/Parents)
http://www.nscchealth.nsw.gov.au/carersupport/fami/copmiresources/003747278.pdf
Best wishes and my love and support in taking care of this important group.
Kind Regards
Graeme
Aug 06 2008
There is a common myth that you shouldn’t discuss suicide with someone who is depressed. The rational is that you will put ideas into their head. I can speak with some authority on this subject as I have felt seriously suicidal for periods up to three years. I have also made four serious attempts on my life. During those periods, I was 100% certain that I would never feel normal again. I knew that I had overcome depression before but after four years of unrelenting hell no logic could convince me that I could do the same again.
My parents say in the foreword to BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO (launched September 9) that not asking me if I wanted to take my life was one of their greatest regrets. Thankfully, for all our sakes, I was unsuccessful. Many other distressed people have contacted me, who have lost a loved one to suicide. Their despair and guilt is palpable. They are continually asking themselves “What if I had done this?” “What if I had done that?” To those people I say that some people are determined to die no matter what you say to them.
Looking forward however, my advice to people supporting someone with depression, definitely would be to raise it, if you suspect the person is in crisis. There is not enough room here to go into all the warning signs here but it is something I cover comprehensively in a chapter titled “Surviving a Crisis” in the new book.
There is still so much stigma around the word suicide that I think this is one of the major reasons people find it difficult to raise.
Perhaps a less confronting way to ask the same thing is: “Are you thinking of harming yourself?” If the answer is in the affirmative, I would suggest asking them “If you had to rate your mood, where 1 is actively suicidal and 10 is 100% normal, where would you score yourself?”
If they rate themselves below 4, you need to quietly but firmly suggest that you take them to see a mental health professional.
If you have depression and are thinking of ending your life, my emphatic message would be that people do feel that there is absolutely no hope for them and go on to fully recover. You only have to read the stories of Kathy McMahon, Brian Egan, Sonia Attard, and even myself from my first book to see that. Details can be found at:
www.OvercomingYourDepression.com
If you are caring for someone who you think could be contemplating ending their life, I would strongly encourage you to raise it with them by asking the two questions above. I would also say to you that just because someone is feeling strongly suicidal, it doesn’t mean that they can’t make a 100% recovery. See:
www.OvercomingYourDepression.com
Suicide Call-back Service
In the process of researching BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO I came across this fabulous service called the “Suicide Call-back Service” which very few people are aware of. It is a free federally funded service for people contemplating suicide, their carers, and those bereaved by suicide. It is manned by trained counsellors and you can have up to five fifty minute phone consultations with the same person at a mutually agreed time.
This service operates 7 days a week from 10.00am til 8.30pm. The number is:
1300 659 467
If you know anyone that falls into the above 3 categories, please share this information with them.
Please don’t be afraid of raising the subject of suicide with someone who is depressed. If you know the depth of their crisis you can take some appropriate action.
Kind Regards
Graeme
Aug 01 2008
All the research I have done stresses how important it is to have the emotional support from family and friends when we are going through depression.
What I have come to realise however, is the tremendous toll this takes on carers. In research I did for BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO (Available September 9 in bookstores) I found out quite clearly the extent of the burden. Below is one of the questions I asked:
|
2. If you have experienced any other frustrations/problems which weren’t covered above please list them here (unprompted – open ended). |
Times Mentioned |
|
I feel I am always giving – I am running on empty |
24 |
|
My loved one refuses to see a doctor or won’t follow their advice |
21 |
|
I have great difficulty communicating with them and they often get irritated/angry |
16 |
|
Privacy laws prevent some health providers speaking with me which negatively impacts on my ability to provide the best care |
13 |
|
I can’t find the right professional help for me |
12 |
|
Friends and family drop away as they don’t know how to handle the situation |
12 |
|
It took a long time to get the correct diagnosis which prolonged recovery |
9 |
|
I feel that nothing I do helps |
8 |
|
It has a very great impact on the children of the loved one and no one seems able to give advice on how this should be handled |
7 |
|
Fear of self harm and suicide |
6 |
|
No one seems set up to handle advice for teenagers with depression |
4 |
|
There is no case manager so follow through is non existent – my loved one has prematurely gone off medication |
4 |
This really reinforced to me how important it is that carers look after themselves, as well as their loved one. This sometimes means finding professional help such as a psychologist or therapist or building personal support through family and friends.
This topic is so important that I dedicate two chapters to it as well as an extensive resources section just for carers.
If you go to the News section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com you will find a couple of excellent recent articles on relieving stress and taming the worry habit.
Eliminating Stress
Essentially these articles says that:
85% of worries don’t happen
In another study, chronic worriers were asked to carry around a notebook and record everything they stewed about for two weeks. Astonishly, 85% of things that they spent lots of time worrying about didn’t happen.
I’m not trying to minimise the overwhelming nature of depression, but what I am trying to do is to encourage those living with depression and their carers to analyze their concerns and take action against the important issues.
Kind Regards
Graeme
