Oct 20 2008
The trauma of a depressed leg saved by a movie
It was all going so smoothly
As many of you would know, I had my routine down pat. Rise at 5.45am, meditate for 20 minutes and then go for a 45 minute bushwalk before having breakfast and beginning my work. I felt healthy and energetic and was very productive.
Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans
Then three weeks ago I unexpectedly (is it ever expected!!!) broke my ankle when I crashed into my son on a waterslide. Last week after another xray my specialist decided to insert a plate and screws into my fibular as the fracture had become displaced. I had all these plans of things I would like to do in October and November and I’m spending most of my time in hospitals and doctors surgeries. I now find myself rising at 8.30 and taking an hour and a half to have breakfast, clean up and have a shower. I’m eating more than I should and starting to feel a bit blarrrrrr.
Feeling sorry for myself
At the time it happened I commented that I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than go through a period of depression again. Whilst that is still true, the full impact of my injury and the limitations it places on me are just starting to really hit home. I can’t drive, so I am restricted to my house and going a bit stir crazy. I can’t put any weight on my broken leg so things like cooking, washing up, cleaning, and working become a real challenge. I’m focussing at everything I can’t do.
Then I saw a movie
On Friday night I watched “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. For those who haven’t seen it, it is the true story of the French editor of Elle magazine, who suddenly was struck down by an illness known as “locked in syndrome”. Whilst his mind was still functioning normally, he lost movement in every muscle except his eyelid. What extraordinary frustration that man suffered as most people saw him as “vegetable” when his mind was still alert.
One blink at a time
Though a very patient speech therapist, he learnt a system whereby he would blink when she said the right letter. They had to go through this agonising process to identify the right letter, which became a word, which became a sentence, which became a paragraph, which became a chapter, which became a book. I thought I had problems writing my two books!!!!!!!!
When I was depressed…
I would have thought “interesting movie but at least he is not depressed”. Thankfully now, I’m not depressed but I’m aware that I have to take action so that I don’t slip back there again. Seeing the movie has helped me realise how “able” I am compared to the “Diving Bell”. Whilst it is difficult, today I am going to recalibrate my weekly goals and realise that I am going to need the assistance from others to get through this period.
My goals for next week
- Rise by 6.00am, meditate and do 20 minutes of stretching
- Eat 10% less than I have been eating
- Reach out to family and friends via phone and email
- Finalise a telephone seminar course designed to help carers provide the best support to those living with depression.
I’ll let you know how I go.
Kind Regards
Graeme
