Last weekend I spent at a course learning how to ask better questions to understand someone’s needs. There were lots of good ideas that I wanted to use and so I began looking at my calendar to see when they could be actioned.

Shock, oh shock, I realised that it was almost March. It only seemed like yesterday that I was sitting with Hilary in a park overlooking the harbour watching the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge ablaze with colourful light. I then reflected that on that night, the majority of us make our 2010 New Year’s resolutions.

According to the website 43things where 150,000 people recorded their 2010 resolutions, this was the top 10:

1.       Lose weight 2. Be happy 3. Fall in love 4. Get a job 5. Travel 6. Stop smoking 7. Get married 8. Love 9. Find love 10 Lose my virginity.

WHY AREN’T MOST RESOLUTIONS KEPT?

According to an extensive report by the British psychologist, Richard Wiseman, 88% of people that make them will fail to honour them. Isn’t that depressing? I thought goals were healthy. Presumably we make them so that we can correct some perceived shortcoming in our lives.

I know how abysmal my own record is in this department. About 15 years ago on the stroke of midnight December 31^st, in a rush of blood, I decided that I wouldn’t drink alcohol for 3 months. I remember feeling very hung-over when I first woke up and thinking “what a great resolution”. I’m ashamed to say that at 2:30pm on January 1^st, at a recovery lunch my will power collapsed with the justification that I needed some “hair of the dog” to feel OK so I could continue my resolution. I never recovered. Then I felt guilty and miserable for giving in so easily.

Understanding what type of goals work and what don’t work, became the obsession of Harvard Psychology Professor David McClelland. He sought to understand if there were any common qualities between students who 20 years after graduating were leading a very fulfilling life.

His process was long and exhaustive but he ended up identifying 4 qualities around the goal setting of graduates that would determine who would be living an inspired life 20 years later, and who wouldn’t. These are the common goal setting qualities of students who were able to sustain an inspired life 20 years after graduating – drum roll – drum roll:

·         They set goals that were meaningful to THEM (their values, their strengths, their passions) and weren’t significantly swayed by social indicators of success. They would also regularly daydream as if they had already achieved their goal.

·         They set moderate goals which they have a 50:50 chance of achieving. No outlandish goals here – just things that were realistic but also had a slight stretch.

·         The engage in both positive and negative thinking in how the goals would happen. No Pollyanna’s here – just pragmatists. I good way to describe this approach is the English proverb “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”. They carefully monitor progress to then make corrections.

·         They seek advice from experienced people before deciding if a goal is realistic – someone who has travelled the path before them.

With a questionnaire that measured these 4 qualities Professor McClelland could predict with 90% accuracy who would be leading a meaningful and happy life 20 years later.

If you look at the top 10 for 2010, I can understand why they don’t last. I’m sure being intoxicated doesn’t help our clarity and sustainability of commitment.

What’s your experience with goal setting? What has worked for you and what hasn’t? Please reply to this blog and let me know.

THE GOOD NEWS

We don’t have to wait until December 31, 2010 before we try again.

WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME

As some of you may know, I have done lots of reflection over the last 10 years to understand what is really important to me. My life mission is to help people to realise that they can not only bounce back from adversity and depression, but also go on to lead inspired lives. I have decided to launch the BACK FROM THE BRINK book series in the US as I know what a difference it makes to have real people discuss their battles, struggles and victories. A key part of the success of the Australian book was having some high profile people in the book. This helped significantly in generating publicity. I am going to Chicago at the end of April to be a keynote speaker at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance conference (this group is partnering with me for the US versions). I am then going on to New York to present my proposal to publishers.

MY GOAL – TO HAVE 4 US/UK CELEBRITIES AGREE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR BFTB BY APRIL 15

I need your help. So far I have tried contacting the high profile people via their managers with a disappointing result. I found in Australia that when I was able to speak with the celebrities directly there was a much higher probability of success.

DO YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE, OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES?

Jane Pauley – former host of Today                                   Greg Louganis – Olympic gold – diving

Carrie Fisher – actress Star Wars                                       Mike Wallace – TV journalist

George Stephanopoulos – ABC commentator                     Buzz Aldrin – Astronaut

Owen Wilson – Actor                                                           Richard Dreyfuss                                           

Brooke Shields – Actress                                                      Marie Osmond – Singer

Jim Carrey – Actor                                                                 Larry King – TV Journalist

Winona Ryder – Actress                                                        Brian Wilson – Musician

Terry Bradshaw – NFL Footballer                                          JK Rawling – Author

Trish Goddard – TV presenter                                               George Michael – Singer

HOW YOU CAN HELP

If you know one of these people or how I can find away to contact them directly, please respond to this email. If you are reading this on my blog and want to contact me directly please email me at graeme@graemecowan.com.au .  Alternatively you may know an option through Facebook or Twitter – I will try anything.

Please respond to the blog and let us know what you think. Are there any subjects you would like me to cover?

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

www.GraemeCowan.com.au

Tags: broken new year's resolutions, goal setting, mental health

For some time now, I have been emailing you with advice about how to overcome depression. I would now like you to tell me what you find most effective. But first some background……

UNDERSTANDING WHAT REALLY WORKS

I get very irate when I hear “experts” in the media saying that there are only 2 evidence based treatments for depression, antidepressants and psychological counselling…. What utter baloney. Don’t get me wrong – I still take antidepressants and have benefitted from psychological counselling, but I also know that there are many, many, other factors that contribute to our mental health. Things such as exercise, emotional support from loved ones, fulfilling work, relaxation and nutrition to name a few.

WE THAT LIVE WITH DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR ARE THE REAL EXPERTS ON WHAT WORKS

Some of you who read my first book, BACK FROM THE BRINK, would know that I included the results of two surveys: one done for the book by Ultrafeedback in 2007 and one undertaken by the Black Dog Institute(BDI) in the previous year. The results from those surveys certainly challenged traditional approaches towards depression treatments.

Well it is now 2009 and I’ve decided to revisit this issue again with a survey that looks at the effectiveness of a broad range of strategies. It really combines the best features of the Ultrafeedback and BDI survey.  Through my association with www.DBSAlliance.org in the US, I am having people with depression from across North America also completing the survey, and hopefully other depression websites from around the world will help make this a truly global one.

I NEED YOUR HELP

I would love you to spend 10 minutes completing this survey and I will share the results for free on www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com  once the analysis has been completed – the survey will close on December 11, 2009. To access the survey please go to:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=XI_2bk_2f_2fgIwvYmsvuAz2UBlQ_3d_3d

I really appreciate you taking the time to complete the 10 minute survey and I look forward to sharing the results with you.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INVITE OTHERS WITH DEPRESSION TO COMPLETE THIS SURVEY

The more that complete this survey the better so please feel free to forward this on to anyone you know who has experienced depression.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=XI_2bk_2f_2fgIwvYmsvuAz2UBlQ_3d_3d

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: depression, depression survey, depression treatment survey, depression treatments, effective depression treatments, holistic depression treatments

With all our medical advances, why is it that the incidence of depression and anxiety is skyrocketing. The World Health Organisation says that depression is the most disabling disease in the Western World today, yet all mental healthcare specialists seem to talk about is “evidence based” treatments such as counselling and anti depressants. Whilst these strategies have been shown to be helpful for some people, if this was really cutting edge advice, why aren’t we seeing the incidence of depression declining or at the very least plateauing. This in no way seeks to imply that medication and psychological counselling don’t have their place in treating depression, just that we are not exploring all the variables

Having interviewed thousands of people who have battled with depression, I am convinced that there are some serious issues with the “evidence based” approach to treating depression. These can be summarised as follows:

1. The “evidence” is where the money is

Unfortunately clinical trials are very expensive to run so private funding will only be directed towards those areas where “investors” can see a return on investment. In the world of depression treatments, this means that the vast majority of funds are directed towards medication and psychological counselling interventions. This means that important lifestyle strategies such as exercise, emotional support,nutrition, relaxation, and fulfilling work are relatively ignored. Ironically these less discussed strategies can be much less costly to implement.

1. When you’re holding a hammer everything looks like a nail

The vast majority of depression treatment studies are undertaken by doctors or psychologists. Whilst there is nothing wrong with this per se, most of these studies are evaluating areas where they have expertise (which makes sense). This means that the comparisons are often looking in isolation at one drug verses another (or a placebo) or one psychological intervention verses another. Quite often meaningful advancements in areas can come from someone outside the established “paradigms”. I love the story of the little boy who came across rescue workers who had been struggling for 3 hours with sophisticated hydraulic equipment trying to dislodge a truck which had been tightly wedged under an overhead bridge.  After being encouraged to leave the site he quietly said “Why don’t you let down the tyres?”.

1. We are not just DNA

As human beings our bodies and minds are intricately linked. Depression treatments that focus purely on a “biological illness” are seriously limited. Much of the despair that exists in the western world today can be linked to loneliness, family breakdowns, excessive and unfulfilling work, and financial crises. Saying that depression is caused by low levels of serotonin is like saying teen pregnancies are caused by a sperm fertilising an egg – yes, but…. Depression treatments that fail to reconnect us with our passions and purpose are ultimately going to be short lived solutions.

What are the right depression treatments?

To find out what works best in managing or overcoming depression, we must ask the people who are living with depression what works best for them. In 2007 I asked just that, and their answers were (in order) exercise, support of family and friends, psychological counselling, fulfilling work, relaxation/meditation, nutrition and medication.

Coincidentally, the Black Dog Institute (BDI) –one of the pre-eminent mood disorder units in the world - also undertook a study directly asking those with depression what helped them most. Although there were some differences in the studies, lifestyle strategies were also shown to be extremely important. One of the authors of the published study, Professor Gordon Parker, who has been practicing psychiatry for over 30 years, has now started advising General Practitioners and their patients to exercise regularly to aid recovery.

If Professor Parker, who has published over 600 clinical papers and book chapters regarding mood disorders, can learn something from these results, perhaps we all can.  

Tags: back from the brink, depression anxiety, depression help, depression research, depression treatments, exercise and depression

I flew to New York on May 25 with the objective of finding Literary Agent to take on my book to complete US versions for the existing two.

On Wednesday I went to the first day of Book Expo America which was dedicated to authors. There were about 400 people there and they had some great seminars regarding how to plot your way through the publishing maze which gave some excellent insights.

We then had the opportunity to do a “pitch slam” with Literary Agents. Over here, publishers receive an average of 300 manuscripts per day and very rarely follow up any directly and rely on the LA’s to vet opportunities.

In “pitch slam” the 400 authors have 3 minutes to tell their story to about 50 LA’s with a view to getting feedback on their project and perhaps a signal of interest that could lead to the LA taking on their project. Before getting to NY I had done a lot of research to find out who would be the best LA’s to take on my project. I had targeted 6. Of the 6 I slammed, 5 expressed interest and my 3 top picks expressed very strong interest including one saying “I’m totally on board – don’t bother seeing any other agents”. I had emailed my top 3 LA’s prior to getting to NY with my new 3 minute keynote demo and I think this added considerable momentum (http://www.pineapplemedia.com.au/Cowan.html  )

I had another great day yesterday and by chance met with Judith Curr the Executive Vice President of Atria books which is a division of Simon and Schuster. Believe it or not she is an Australian who is now based in New York. She was the publisher of “The Secret” which has now sold 7 million copies. She asked me to post her copies of my books and follow up with her executive editor which is very exciting.

A key part of the US success will be getting on board the American celebrities to be interviewed in BFTB. BFTBToo is ready to go almost immediately but it makes sense to launch the 2 together.

On Monday we head to Chicago to see the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance to get their support (which I need for local credibility with the high profile people) for getting the project underway. I have already had email and phone contact with them and it is looking very good.

On Friday night Hilary and I went to “Jersey Boy” – a musical about Franky Valli and the Four Seasons. It was just sensational – real stand up, shout and cheer show. After that we strolled through Times Square which at 11pm was just jam packed with people – you feel guilty for going to sleep in this place.

Hope all is well back home.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: back from the brink, depression books, depression help, depression treatments

I know through the emails I receive and the feedback I get from my GROW group members that  a lot of people find the Christmas period very unsettling and depressing. Often it brings into focus what we don’t have or highlights difficult family relationships.

I came across a very good paper from the Internet called “10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy”. Whilst I usually shudder at these formulaic papers that promise happiness and fulfillment, this is a little different in that it is based on quantitative studies from positive psychology from the likes of Ed Diener, Standford Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post. They have studied people all over the world. Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for getting happy.

1. Savour Everyday Moments
2. Avoid Comparisons
3. Put Money Low on the List
4. Have Meaningful goals
5. Take Initiative at Work
6. Make friends, treasure family
7. Smile even when you don’t feel like it
8. Say thankyou like you mean it
9. Get out and exercise
10. Give it away, give it away now

For full details of the paper go to the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

I think this is a very interesting list as it really parallels my experience in overcoming depression.

Make 2009 depression free

Whilst most of you would know that I don’t believe in quick fixes for depression, I believe the key to starting a more fulfilling life is to take appropriate action. I am going to be reading this paper to my GROW group tonight and ask them if they would like to choose 2 of these strategies that they would like to concentrate on for the next 3 months.

When we meet back on January 5 I will ask them to describe what they will be doing to make these things a higher priority in there life. Over the Christmas break when things get a bit difficult they can reflect on what they will be doing to make 2009 more pleasant.

I hope all my readers and visitors have a restful break and feel the sense of a new dawn in 2009.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink, beating depression, depression, graeme cowan, happiness

Last week we held the first of four web and phone based seminars on overcoming depression. It also differed from other courses on this topic as it was designed with both the depression sufferer and their caregiver in mind.

We had over 100 people participating from all over Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the USA which I was really very pleased with.

What really really works in overcoming depression

It was interesting running a session on this over the web as when you put depression into Google you get over 87,700,000 page impressions. Surely everyone can access anything they want to know. Unfortunately that is just the problem. Most people are so time poor and don’t know just where to start.

I also found this to be an issue when I was in the depths of my depression and just had a hunch that a session that covered 7 evidence based strategies shown to help beat depression would be valuable to some people.

From my perspective it was a little strange presenting to over 100 people without being able to see their response so I was very keen to do some market research after the event.

The information presented in the seminar was helpful

I was very pleased that 70% Strongly Agree and 30% Agreed with this statement.

There were suggestions made during the seminar that I could action this week.

Strongly Agree 60% Agree 40%

I was very pleased with this also as I truly believe that action is one of the main enemies of depression.

I found the telephone and web simulcast concept convenient

Strongly Agree 70% Agree 30%

It could be improved by:

Having more time for questions

Strongly agree 49% Agree 42%

One of the issues when people listened via the web is that they could not ask verbal questions. This was also compounded by me trying to cover too much in the first session. The technology does allow for written questions to be conveyed and based on the feedback, I have decided to cover the formal presentation in the first hour and then have 20 minutes of answering questions at the end.

All in all I was very pleased with this first attempt. Of course I will be very keen to get additional feedback after the end of the next 3 seminars but I am very hopeful that it will be a great medium for 2009 and beyond.

The next 3 sessions will cover:

Finding the right mental health professionals

Building a support network

Helping to prevent a crisis and sustaining the care

If anyone has any questions or comments regarding these seminars please respond to this blog or email me at graeme@IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: beating depression, depression carer, depression phone and web seminar, depression sufferer, depression treatments, overcoming depression

Since the launch of BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO I have been able to research a number of visitors to my site to find out how I can further help the person suffering from depression and their caregiver.

The people that responded to the survey said that one of the things they would really value was the opportunity to participate in an anonymous telephone seminar on how the sufferer and their caregiver can work together to overcome depression.

I have come across some technology that enables the participants to either listen via their computer with speakers (using the internet) or by phone. It would also be possible to listen to a recording if you weren’t able to make the designated time. It will also be possible for me to answer questions raised before each seminar.

This type of format would allow me to share a much broader range of information than is possible in a book. In particular, with each point raised, I would like to share the perspective of both the person living with depression and the caregiver.

I have also come to realise that whilst some people like reading books, there are many others that would prefer to listen and watch.

Broadly speaking, I would see 4 seminars each being of around 60-90 minutes on a Tuesday night at 8pm, Sydney, Australia time. Each seminar will have accompanying materials

WEEK 1: WHAT REALLY, REALLY, WORKS IN MANAGING/ OVERCOMING DEPRESSION?

This will briefly outline the symptoms of depression but focus mainly on the evidence based strategies that are most effective for overcoming depression. I will outline a specific plan of action I recommend.

WEEK 2: FINDING THE RIGHT HELP FOR THE SUFFERER AND CAREGIVER

This week will show sufferers and carers how to find appropriate mental health professionals. It will include strategies to encourage the sufferer to seek help. It will also explain the mental health maze and how to access the right expertise. Getting the correct diagnosis and treatment is fundamental to recovery.

WEEK 3: BUILDING A SUPPORT NETWORK FOR THE SUFFERER AND CAREGIVER

Never have both parties been more in need of the care of family and friends. I will show how to build a plan brick by brick so both the sufferer and their caregiver can feel well supported. This support and cooperation is essential for implementing treatment strategies. Friendship is the special key to mental health.

WEEK 4: HELPING TO PREVENT A CRISIS AND SUSTAINING THE CARE

The taboo subject of self harm and suicide will be discussed from the perspective of the person living with depression and their loved ones. Strategies to help prevent a crisis occurring will be clearly explained. Recovery from depression is rarely a straight line and I will discuss what both parties can do when the road gets rocky. I will also outline some case studies of people who have been transformed by depression and gone on to lead very fulfilling lives.

There are of course costs involved in putting something like this on, but I plan to make Week 1 free so people can try before they buy.

The first seminar which will be on November 25^th, 2008.

If you have any questions or comments please respond to this blog.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink too, depression caregivers, depression treatments, graeme cowan, overcoming depression

This morning Andrew Johns completed his walk from Newcastle to Sydney to raise funds for the Black Dog Institute research and awareness of bipolar and depression.

Raised $2 million

Even though it was a magnificent effort to raise these funds I think Andrew’s greatest contribution was to talk openly about his own experiences. I know from the feedback I have had from BACK FROM THE BRINK, that personal stories help bring down the bricks of stigma. I remember doing  a book signing in Perth where every third person commented that they felt comfortable discussing their depression with family after Geoff Gallop, the ex Premier of WA, admitted to his own struggles with the illness when resigning from parliament.

Real stories move hearts

It may seem like a courageous thing to do but I have been amazed how supportive people have been when discussing my own illness. Inevitably it leads to the person then feeling comfortable discussing their own story of a loved one (or even themselves) - and I now know that everyone has a story.

I encourage you to share your story with family and friends so that we can discuss mental illness as easily as we do physical illnesses. I encourage you to read the story on this topic from the Mayo Clinic in the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: andrew johns, bipolar, depression, mental illness, stigma

After much searching I’ve found a wonderful resource for parents with a teenager with depression. As I shared in the post before last, this is an area which is severely under resourced.

Families for Depression Awareness

http://www.familyaware.org/index.php

This US site was established 16 years ago to help address the issues families encounter when one or more members live with depression. It offers some very practical advice and has many real stories covering a variety of situations.

Guide for parents of a teen with depression

Perhaps the thing of greatest value is an excellent guide for parents who have a teen with depression. It is a 72 page document that answers many of the questions you will have. Most importantly it has been thoroughly “road tested” to make sure it is relevant and practical. At this same location you will also find a very good guide for teens who are suffering from depression.

http://www.familyaware.org/teens/default.php

Please let me know how you find this material.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: depression advice, depression in families, teenager depression, youth depression

It was all going so smoothly

As many of you would know, I had my routine down pat. Rise at 5.45am, meditate for 20 minutes and then go for a 45 minute bushwalk before having breakfast and beginning my work. I felt healthy and energetic and was very productive.

Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans

Then three weeks ago I unexpectedly (is it ever expected!!!) broke my ankle when I crashed into my son on a waterslide. Last week after another xray my specialist decided to insert a plate and screws into my fibular as the fracture had become displaced. I had all these plans of things I would like to do in October and November and I’m spending most of  my time in hospitals and doctors surgeries. I now find myself rising at 8.30 and taking an hour and a half to have breakfast, clean up and have a shower. I’m eating more than I should and starting to feel a bit blarrrrrr.

Feeling sorry for myself

At the time it happened I commented that I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than go through a period of depression again. Whilst that is still true, the full impact of my injury and the limitations it places on me are just starting to really hit home. I can’t drive, so I am restricted to my house and going a bit stir crazy. I can’t put any weight on my broken leg so things like cooking, washing up, cleaning, and working become a real challenge. I’m focussing at everything I can’t do.

Then I saw a movie

On Friday night I watched “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. For those who haven’t seen it, it is the true story of the French editor of Elle magazine, who suddenly was struck down by an illness known as “locked in syndrome”.  Whilst his mind was still functioning normally, he lost movement in every muscle except his eyelid. What extraordinary frustration that man suffered as most people saw him as “vegetable” when his mind was still alert.

One blink at a time

Though a very patient speech therapist, he learnt a system whereby he would blink when she said the right letter. They had to go through this agonising process to identify the right letter, which became a word, which became a sentence, which became a paragraph, which became a chapter, which became a book. I thought I had problems writing my two books!!!!!!!!

When I was depressed…

I would have thought “interesting movie but at least he is not depressed”. Thankfully now, I’m not depressed but I’m aware that I have to take action so that I don’t slip back there again. Seeing the movie has helped me realise how “able” I am compared to the “Diving Bell”. Whilst it is difficult, today I am going to recalibrate my weekly goals and realise that I am going to need the assistance from others to get through this period.

My goals for next week

1. Rise by 6.00am, meditate and do 20 minutes of stretching
2. Eat 10% less than I have been eating
3. Reach out to family and friends via phone and email
4. Finalise a telephone seminar course designed to help carers provide the best support to those living with depression.

I’ll let you know how I go.

Kind Regards

Graeme 

Tags: back from the brink, back from the brink too, depression, graeme cowan, stigma