For mental health week I think it is essential to celebrate our uniqueness. I am convinced that honouring our uniqueness in the key to a thriving life. At conception, we won the race from 500 million other sperm. It was the ultimate survival of the fittest. The more we strive to understand the unique elements of our DNA: our strengths, values and passions, and live them, the more effortless our lives become. There is an Indian proverb that says:

Relaxation is who I am; tension is who I think I should be

If we have a predisposition to depression, bipolar, or anxiety it should not define who we are. Sure we have to learn to manage it and be aware of our early warning signs, but there is no reason why that should define us or limit our contribution. Our strengths if developed and celebrated will always outweigh any weakness.

Discover and celebrate your strengths

If you haven’t discovered your top 5 strengths out of a possible 24 strengths, I can’t think of a better time to do it than for Mental Health Week. Martin Seligman and positive psychology movement have made a free assessment available to discover you strengths. They have shown that those people that use and constantly develop their strengths will have a much more fulfilling life than those who don’t. Discover yours now.

Brisbane seminar this Saturday - 7 essential strategies to beat depression for good

I have been often asked when I am presenting interstate. I do travel a lot but unfortunately it is usually for private conferences – not open to the public.

This Saturday October 15 from 2-5pm I will be presenting at the Relaxation Centre in Brisbane. For more information and to register.

In an endeavour to share what I have learnt for those who aren’t able to attend my seminars I have created the following:

BACK FROM THE BRINK Facebook Page

The BACK FROM THE BRINK Facebook Page allows me to share my thoughts on how to bounce back from depression and adversity to live a meaningful life. I have shared over 40 free downloadable resources under these categories:

· Anxiety

· Bipolar

· Carers

· Clinician Resources

· Diagnosis

· Facts

· Lifestyle treatments

· Old people

· Medical Treatments

· Wellbeing

Click the link. Click “LIKE”. Click “Free Stuff”

Let me know if you have any questions/comments/suggestions.

Strive2Thrive YouTube Channel

I have also created this channel to share some insights. Some of the videos on there include:

· Finding a GP that can help with depression

· What if you partner has depression

· Rituals for behaviour change

· Guiding principles to build resilience

· Depression treatments that really, REALLY work

Click here to check them out and subscribe to be advised of new additions. If you have a question you would like me to cover, please let me know.

RUOK?Day 2011

As a Director of RUOK?Day I was delighted with the coverage and impact we achieved this year. I will share more details of this in my next post, but we were delighted to learn that awareness of the day increased from 28% in 2010 to 68% this year. Over 2500 organisations participated in the RUOK?atWork program this year compared to 700 in 2010. More information soon.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: Bounce Back, depression treatments, mental health, natural depression treatments, overcoming depression, resilience

In the lead up to ANZAC  Day this year I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of veterans – one from WWII and one from the conflict in Afghanistan. Both confirmed that they had experienced a lot of stress when returning to Australia yet both said they found it very hard to talk with their colleagues about their anxiety.  Although I have never been into battle, I could closely relate to their apprehension of admitting a “weakness”.

While my wife slept beside me, and my young daughter was in the next room, I made the incredible decision to choose death. I didn’t even know what clinical depression was the first time I tried to take my own life. I was 31 years old and by all appearances had a successful life. I was married and had a one year old child and had recently moved into a new home. I had a successful career in sales and marketing but had just taken a career fork, moving into recruitment. Whilst I was enjoying my new role, I really hadn’t had enough time to excel at it, and I was accustomed to doing well at that to which I applied myself.

The uncertainty I was feeling about my career filled me with anxiety. I had continuous tension in my back that wouldn’t go away. Worse than the physical symptoms were the dark thoughts that wouldn’t go away. I saw myself as a failure and my self esteem plummeted. I would be wide awake at 3.30am, staring at the ceiling. I don’t know why I couldn’t reach out and tell someone how bad I was feeling – but I couldn’t. I felt that a man should be on top of life and vainly tried to think positive thoughts – but nothing changed. The early morning waking would leave me drained and hardly capable of working a full day, but I forced myself to keep going and the cycle of decline continued.

Since that momentous night 21 years ago, I have often reflected on why men find it so difficult to ask for help when they are experiencing tough times.

A lot has happened since then  – I’ve had other severe depressive episodes, been divorced, lost my job, written a book - BACK FROM THE BRINK, and now speak regularly on how people can bounce back and thrive from challenging times.  I’m now very grateful to lead a fulfilling and very happy life.

One of the most common questions that is asked at my seminars is “How do I get my husband/boyfriend/male to seek help when he so obviously needs it?”

The numbers don’t lie

Australian men have a life expectancy of 79 years versus 84 years for women.  They account for 78% of suicides, 77% of accidental drowning, 75% of motor vehicle accident deaths, and 67% of melanoma deaths, 67% of lung related deaths, 62% deaths due to cancerous tumours, and 61% of deaths due to heart disease. In the last year 25% of men haven’t seen a doctor compared with 10% of women.

Why is this so?

 It is clear that women are healthier than men, but why this is so is not clear. One of the most credited theories is that men have been socialized to self sufficient and encouraged by our culture to be tough. Many men believe that complaining of feeling ill or visiting the doctor is a threat to their masculinity or a waste of time, unless they are sick or injured.

In a recent survey conducted by Harris Interactive of 1,100 men for the American Academy of Family Physicians, 58% of men said they were reluctant to see a doctor. When asked why the two main reasons were:

·         I only go to the doctor if I am extremely sick: 36%

·         I am healthy, I have no reason to go to a doctor: 23%

The problem with this philosophy is that little problems have the habit of turning into big problems if they are ignored.

Of the men, nearly 80% said their spouse/significant other influences their decision to go to the doctor.

How do we start to influence males to visit their doctors more frequently?

Guiding Principles

Be sensitive to the male ego. I remember my wife being totally perplexed and wondering why I had not discussed my absolute despair with her prior to making an attempt on my life. Accept that for many men it is very hard to talk about emotions and feelings of doubt and inadequacy. It is best to talk about behaviour rather than threaten his self-esteem.

Try multiple choice. If a man has difficulty discussing feelings, he may respond better to multiple choice. For example, ‘Are you feeling worried, sad or angry right now?’

Affirm his competence. Again, remember the male ego. You could say, ‘I have always been impressed with how well you have managed so many things’.

Structuring the conversation

Break the ice

Discuss the weather, friends, family etc in a private place – walking outside is ideal.

Non Judgemental Questions

For example, you could say, ‘I’m concerned about you waking up at 4 am and not being able to get back to sleep. What are the things that are causing you to lose sleep? Why does that worry you so much? What do you think can be done about it? Have you considered asking someone else for help/advice?’ If they are struggling to come up with answers, then this might be the time to suggest strategies or someone they could talk to.

Encourage Action

Remember that nothing happens until someone moves. If you have a regular GP you should offer to make an appointment for them (and accompany them if they are willing).If they strongly resist going to the GP you could suggest they do an anonymous online depression test at www.blackdoginstitute.org.au

 

Subscribe to the Strive2ThriveTV YouTube Channel

I have established a YouTube Channel that provides some further background to my research.

Some of the videos include:

1.       Resilience Guiding Principle One – The Moodometer

2.       Resilience Guiding Principle Two – Strive2Thrive Roadmap

3.       Resilience Guiding Principle Three – Taking Action

4.       Resilience Guiding Principle Four – Problem Solving

5.       What depression treatments really REALLY work

View Strive2ThriveTV

Join the BACK FROM THE BRINK FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

At this page you will find free downloadable pdf resources (over 40 available), videos and a community that is happy to share ideas and resources to bounce back and thrive from adversity and depression. Ask me any questions.

Join the Facebook Page

 

When Adversity Strikes, What Do You Do?

This Harvard Business Review article by Paul Soltz, tells how our core stories are about what happens when human beings and adversity collide. From those moments tragedies unravel and greatness is spawned. Adversity both destroys and elevates. It both strangles and sparks life.

What is your relationship with adversity? What role has it played in becoming who you are, in forging your essential character and mindset? How has it influenced your optimism, energy, opportunities, relationships, health, performance, capacity, and leaps of faith? Can you think of any force that has been more profoundly formative? Read More

 As always, if you have a comment about any of these topics please respond to the blog.

Kind Regards

Graeme

 

 

 

Graeme Cowan is an International Speaker and award winning Author of the BACK FROM THE BRINK book series who educates people on how to bounce back from challenging times.  www.GraemeCowan.com.au

 

 

Tags: anxiety, depression at work, depression treatments, mental health speaker, overcoming depression, resilience speaker, work stress

From personal experience I know how hard it is to exercise when you are struggling with depression. On some days I was struggling to get out of bed and the thought of getting dressed and out the front door seemed like an impossibility.

I now know that having regular exercise is the most effective depression treatment

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that exercise is the only strategy to pursue - just the most important. It is not just me saying that - over 3000 people from both the Ultrafeedback and the Blackdog Institute survey results said the same thing. For a free copy of the most effective depression treatments research report please go to:

http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/landing4.html

We don’t know exactly why this is so, but I have a hypothesis that it comes down to two main factors:

1. Exercise stimulates the feel good endorphins in the brain and also gets you out of the rut of being inside all the time.
2. Completing some task each day provides a sense of achievement.

It doesn’t really matter why it makes you feel better - just do what works.

So how do we start doing something so good for us that we don’t feel like doing?

Feelings aren’t facts is a www.grow.net.au saying and when we are depressed we often have to go against those lethargic and hopeless feelings.

It’s not a simple process, but let me share what I have found after talking with hundreds of people on this topic. I know there is something substantial in this as some pharmaceutical companies are already seeking to duplicate the effect exercise has on the body by creating a new pill to take!!!!!!!!!

7 thoughts on getting started

1. Find something you (or used to) enjoy doing - quite frankly it doesn’t matter what type of exercise you pursue - walking, jogging, dancing, cycling, rollerblading, swimming, treadmill, exercising the dog, cross country skiing etc - to be regular it is important to do something you enjoy.
2. Start small - a big mistake many people make is the belief they have to exercise for two hours each day to make a difference. When you are depressed you want “whisker goals” not “stretch goals”. If you are stuck in bed or watching TV all day - for the first week decide to put on your walking shoes and just get out to the letter box. Once you’re there you may decide to walk further but you don’t have to - all you have to do is get out to front gate. Alternatively, if you are stuck in front of the TV decide to put on a timer for 5 minutes and walk up and down on the spot until the timer goes off - you get the idea. If you are not as incapacitated by your depression set yourself a “just right” goal - not too hard not too easy. I started walking 15 minutes per day and then over a period of 4 weeks built it up to 40 minutes per day.
3. Just start - believe me just starting the exercise is 70% of the effort.
4. Resolve to exercise everyday but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t I started off exercising every second day but often couldn’t remember if I had done it the previous day or not. Believe it or not I found it easier to exercise 6 days a week and give myself Sunday off - what a pleasure it was to sleep in on those days. If you don’t make it everyday - don’t beat yourself up - we do far too much of that when we are depressed any way - just accept it and resolve to recommence tomorrow.
5. Consider exercising with a loved one or group Many people find it hard to exercise themselves but find it really difficult to let a friend or family member down. For some reason there is a greater commitment when it is with loved ones. The other benefit of exercising with others is that it also becomes a social activity which can help the problem of isolation.
6. Try to be in the moment when you exercise - observe flowers, plants, insects, birds, animals, noises, smells, etc when you are walking. Some people keep a walking journal and describe being relatively free of rumination when they are concentrating on what they are going to be writing about when they return.
7. Don’t be afraid to mix and match if you get sick of walking for example don’t be afraid to try something else like learn a martial art, or join a gym. Some people utilise a trainer to help provide the variety.

Be gentle on yourself - It is not how many times we stumble but how many times we get up and keep trying that will determine our fulfillment and sense of well being.

What has been your experience?

We have a wealth of wisdom amongst our members. What has been your experience with exercise? What have you found helpful to get over that lethargic feeling and start? How do you keep going when you get bored or don’t feel like it? Please share it by responding to the blog below. You only need to put your first name and email address (which won’t be published).

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: depression help, depression treatments, exercise for depression, how to start exercising, most effective depression treatments

Please see this You Tube clip on the most important thing you can do to overcome depression. Sorry that we sound a little like Darth Vader - I’m still learning to drive this technology.

 

I thought I would share some wonderful news with you. There is a book by Jack Canfield called the “Aladdin Factor”. Basically it asserts that if you have wishes and dreams you should float them out there because it is remarkable what can happen. I have a very good example of that. I’ll try and keep a long story short:

An amazing journey

Earlier this year I had a call from a counsellor from Lifeline Cental in SA requesting to buy a couple of books. As I had previously received several emails from other Lifeline counsellors saying how helpful they had found the book, I decided to donate a box of 30 books. The counselling manager from the region, offered to help coordinate the written feedback from counsellors after they had read it. Overwhelmingly they agreed that it would be very helpful (see comments below).

 

A couple of nights after receiving that feedback from SA, I was giving a keynote address at a Lifeline fundraiser for h2h in Sydney. At the end of my speech, I mentioned briefly that it was my vision to find a sponsor to provide a copy of my book for every Lifeline TC. A couple approached me after my talk saying they would like to help on the condition that their involvement remained anonymous. After contacting a colleague overseas they were able to raise the necessary money for the 4200 books – truly inspirational.

What Lifeline TC’s had to say about BFTB

“I read it in two and a half days – I couldn’t put it down”

“It helped me understand the different forms depression can take and how they can affect people”

“The stories were full of hope – it is what clients need to hear”

“There are stories in there that everyone can relate to”

 Put 11.00am Tuesday September 9, 2008 @ The Blackdog Institute in your diary

I’m thrilled to confirm the launch day for BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO: Helping your loved one overcome depression. I am very excited by the potential of this book to touch many lives. An official invitation will follow soon but I just wanted to get the date in your diary.

 

Kind Regards

Graeme

 

Tags: depression books, inspiration, overcoming depression

There was recently a very good article from the Mayo Clinic on taking medication for depression (see News section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com ) As highlighted in my last entry, the average doctor does not have great skills in managing mood disorders and we often feel tempted to take things into our own hands when we perceive a medication is not working or there are bad side effects.

Always consult your doctor

I have learnt through bitter experience that it is always better to consult a doctor when stopping or altering the dosage of a medication. There can be very unpleasant side effects if a medication is stopped suddently. I have also experienced the situation where a medication doesn’t appear to be working at a lower dosage, only to have it work well once the dose is increased.

First rule of recovery

The first rule of recovery is to get an accurate diagnosis from a competent mood disorder doctor. They then will be able to determine if antidepressant medication is warranted and prescribe the variant which has the most probability of working.

In my last Blog entry I highlighted the advantages of MAP, a new diagnostic tool from the Blackdog Institute. This week I noticed a new computerised treatment aid for depression being developed in Texas (see News section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com) Anything that can aid the average doctor in being a better diagnostician and treater of depression has to be a good thing.

If you have any personal stories about going off depression medication abruptly, I would love to hear them.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: antidepressants, anxiety, depression, side effects