For it’s first year, 2009’s RUOK? Day had many highlights including 650,000 Australian’s reaching out to someone they were concerned about and asking “RUOK?” - but we want your help to make it better.

Just prior to a recent presentation I did regarding mental health in the workplace, I surveyed the HR Managers and CEO’s who attended and asked them, what were the biggest concerns they had about asking someone who appeared to be struggling “Are you OK?”.

These were there top 3 concerns:

·         How do you broach the subject with them?

·         How do you best support people managers who are trying to help them?

·         What do you tell other team members?

If you have at one time struggled in the workplace with depression, stress, or anxiety, I’d like to ask your help in recommending an approach which is good for the employee, the team, and the organisation.

Last year for RUOK? Day we produced a form to help individuals feel  more comfortable approaching  the person they were concerned about.

This is the approach we recommended:

Put yourself in their shoes

The reason most people don’t ask RUOK? to someone they care about, is that they don’t know what to say, or are afraid of “opening a can of worms”.

If you were the one struggling and had lost hope, would you want someone you cared about to ask RUOK? What would you like them to say?

The “Golden Rule” is an ethical code that is shared across most major religions and cultures that states “do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Many Australians have embraced this idea during tough times; think of the Victorian bushfires, when millions of Australians reached out to help each other. RUOK? is another day where we challenge Australians to treat one another as you’d like to be treated. 

After the event last year we surveyed a sample of employers to ask them how they found effective  they found this resource - 73% rated it effective or very effective, and 27% somewhat effective.

 I would like to ask the experts, the ones who have struggled with a mood disorder in the workplace, is there anything you would suggest to improve this approach – given that it has to be no more that a page long.

Please respond to this blog and answer these 3 questions:

1.       Can you suggest any improvements to this approach?

2.       If you had the opportunity to give your boss advice on how best to handle the situation, what would you suggest?

3.       What are your thoughts about informing other team members that you are working with a mood disorder?

Many thanks for helping us continue to improve our approach.

Regards

Graeme

If you think your organisation (or another) may be interested in having me as a speaker, please refer them to: www.GraemeCowan.com.au or call my office on +61 2 8014 8867.

“Graeme delivered an exceptional presentation to our client group consisting of CEOs and Human Resources Managers on the topic of “Best Practice in managing mental health in the workplace”. Everyone was riveted to Graeme’s personal experience as well as the incredibly powerful suggestions for handling employees (and personal contacts) suffering from stress and depression. The suggestions were practical and simple and relevant to workplace situations. His style is so genuine and open that the majority of client feedback said it is one of the most compelling presentations they had seen in many years. Graeme has done some amazing research, both locally and internationally, on various aspects of mental health. He was also able to effectively demonstrate the corporate savings and the business case for addressing employee mental health and productivity. Given Graeme’s corporate background and his personal experiences I couldn’t recommend him more highly in either a consulting or speaking capacity. He is an inspirational speaker.” June 9, 2010 Diane Humphries, Managing Director Cameron Recruitment

Once we get to 5 on the moodometer, I believe that we should start thinking about what we would like our ideal life to look like in 5 years. It is so much more productive to be focussing on what we do want, rather than what we don’t want.

There are probably 4 main components of this:

1. DO - What do I want to be doing?
2. BE - Which of my talents and character qualities do I want to be using?
3. WHO - Who do I want to be doing this with?
4. WHERE – do I want to be?

Over the last 6 months I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on this topic area. In December last year, I met Karynne Courts - www.valuesconnection.com.au - who for the last 10 years has been doing work with leaders to help them understand who their authentic self is, by having them complete a values inventory with them. I have also been doing a lot of work in the Positive Psychology space with the Virtues Inventory, which helps people to understand what their character strengths are. We had both also read very widely around the whole concept of helping people to discover a life of meaning. To cut a long story short, Karynne and I decided to run a pilot course of “Navigating a meaningful life by understanding your whYcode” with 15 people which ran over 8 weeks.

What is a whYcode?

We all have unique values, talents, qualities, and passions. Learning what these are isn’t always easy, and Karynne and I put our experience together to help people understand what is truly important to them. We face decisions every day – big and small – and we believe that when we face this “Y” (fork) in the road, that if you have good personal insight – i.e. understand your whYcode – this will help you make fast decisions that strengthen, rather than weaken you.

Career fulfilment is essential for our wellbeing

Having spent 12 years in recruiting and outplacement, I am aware of how few people work in a career that they would describe as fulfilling. When I did my original research for BACK FROM THE BRINK, I discovered that the 350 people I interviewed rated “fulfilling work” as the number 4 most effective strategy for overcoming depression – where “medication” was rated number 7.

The outcome of the pilot and shorter version I recently conducted in Chicago

Participants in the pilot course found it tremendously helpful to be able to identify their whYcode. For some people it was quite a surprise when they rediscovered what “lights their fire”.

Based on the feedback we received from the pilot course, Karynne and I further simplified the course which I presented at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance conference in Chicago.

A prominent US mental health blogger, Marcia Purse, attended the conference and she wrote:

“The highest point of all was the last event - keynote speaker Graeme Cowan’s “How to Bounce Back and Thrive in Challenging Times.” In the near future I’ll start challenging all of you with some of the things he challenged the audience to do and think about”.

Understanding your whYcode is absolutely essential to being able to bounce back and thrive in challenging times.

What do you think contributes to meaning in life?

Are work and your community activities important to you? What have you found helpful to find meaning in your life? Please share your experience by commenting on the blog below.

A free overview of the course

On Tuesday May 25 from 6-8pm, I will be running a free overview of this seminar at the City Fringe Meditation Space in East Sydney (see link below).

http://www.meditationspace.com.au/meditation_space/Program_May_2010.html

If this is of interest to you, it is essential you confirm your place immediately online at the link above - as there are only a limited number of seats that can fit in the venue.

Address 99 Crown Street, East Sydney 2010

voice-box 02 8011 4995 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting                  end_of_the_skype_highlighting

email  eastsydney@au.bkwsu.org

Web  www.mediationspace.com.au

We are located at 99 Crown Street in East Sydney, next to the City Gym between Stanley and William Streets.

For those people interstate or overseas – if you would interested in attending a course such as this, or have any questions or comments please respond to the blog.

New corporate site launched

I have just completed a new site – www.GraemeCowan.com.au – which is for organisations that would like to use my services to speak or consult. If you know anyone who may be seeking someone to speak on how to bounce back and thrive from challenging times, please direct them there.

I look forward to your comments.

Kind Regards

Graeme

I once saw a fascinating exchange, where an Indian woman who was a meditation guru - shared a stage with a number of senior business people.

After being taken through a guided meditation the discussion then turned to how this stillness could be applied at work. One of the men said that he would love to experience the peace he just got from the meditation on a regular basis, but he was just too busy.

Business is for lazy people

In a very quiet gentle voice the Indian woman said “Busyness is for lazy people”. It took a while for what she said to sink in and their seemed to be silence for a full 20 seconds. She then sweetly probed “Do you have time to worry?”.

We all seem to have plenty of time to worry, but often neglect sufficient time to nurture our body, mind, and spirit. I know that just before I had my breakdown in 2000, I was stressed and anxious but still continued to work ridiculous hours in a very unproductive manner.

Mindfulness, Flow, Power of Now, In the zone, In my element

There has been a lot of talk recently about the concept of mindfulness – to be fully engaged in what you are doing and not worrying about the future or regretful of the past – Eckhart Tolle calls it the Power of Now, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it Flow, some sports people refer to it as being in the zone. It’s kind of ironical that it is being hailed as something new, as the message originally came from the Buddha over 2000 years ago.

Whilst most people can understand the concept of mindfulness, actually living it is a whole different matter. It is so easy to get distracted by interruptions, and lose the ability to focus on the moment.

Stillness Buddy

I would like to share a resource I use that is tremendously beneficial – particularly if you spend a lot of time on a computer during the day. It is a software tool called Stillness Buddy. Once it is downloaded you have the opportunity to choose settings for a stillness break and a mindfulness break. I chose to have a 20 second break stillness break every 30 minutes and a 2 minute mindfulness break every hour. When those breaks come up a beautiful picture appears on the screen, some sounds from nature, and some guidelines on what to do for the next 20 seconds (or 2 minutes).

When the break is finished the screen disappears. I find that even when I am engrossed in something there is a huge benefit in pulling back and gaining some perspective. Sometimes it comes at an inconvenient time and you have option of closing the window immediately.

There is a free 14 day trial of the software at: www.stillnessbuddy.com If you chose to purchase it, a licence is approximately AU$40.

If you do decide to trial it, please let us know your experience on the blog.

Do you have habits at work to help you be more centred? I would love you to reply to the blog and to share it with our tribe. How do you switch off in the middle of chaos? Share what works for you.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Last weekend I spent at a course learning how to ask better questions to understand someone’s needs. There were lots of good ideas that I wanted to use and so I began looking at my calendar to see when they could be actioned.

Shock, oh shock, I realised that it was almost March. It only seemed like yesterday that I was sitting with Hilary in a park overlooking the harbour watching the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge ablaze with colourful light. I then reflected that on that night, the majority of us make our 2010 New Year’s resolutions.

According to the website 43things where 150,000 people recorded their 2010 resolutions, this was the top 10:

1.       Lose weight 2. Be happy 3. Fall in love 4. Get a job 5. Travel 6. Stop smoking 7. Get married 8. Love 9. Find love 10 Lose my virginity.

WHY AREN’T MOST RESOLUTIONS KEPT?

According to an extensive report by the British psychologist, Richard Wiseman, 88% of people that make them will fail to honour them. Isn’t that depressing? I thought goals were healthy. Presumably we make them so that we can correct some perceived shortcoming in our lives.

I know how abysmal my own record is in this department. About 15 years ago on the stroke of midnight December 31^st, in a rush of blood, I decided that I wouldn’t drink alcohol for 3 months. I remember feeling very hung-over when I first woke up and thinking “what a great resolution”. I’m ashamed to say that at 2:30pm on January 1^st, at a recovery lunch my will power collapsed with the justification that I needed some “hair of the dog” to feel OK so I could continue my resolution. I never recovered. Then I felt guilty and miserable for giving in so easily.

Understanding what type of goals work and what don’t work, became the obsession of Harvard Psychology Professor David McClelland. He sought to understand if there were any common qualities between students who 20 years after graduating were leading a very fulfilling life.

His process was long and exhaustive but he ended up identifying 4 qualities around the goal setting of graduates that would determine who would be living an inspired life 20 years later, and who wouldn’t. These are the common goal setting qualities of students who were able to sustain an inspired life 20 years after graduating – drum roll – drum roll:

·         They set goals that were meaningful to THEM (their values, their strengths, their passions) and weren’t significantly swayed by social indicators of success. They would also regularly daydream as if they had already achieved their goal.

·         They set moderate goals which they have a 50:50 chance of achieving. No outlandish goals here – just things that were realistic but also had a slight stretch.

·         The engage in both positive and negative thinking in how the goals would happen. No Pollyanna’s here – just pragmatists. I good way to describe this approach is the English proverb “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”. They carefully monitor progress to then make corrections.

·         They seek advice from experienced people before deciding if a goal is realistic – someone who has travelled the path before them.

With a questionnaire that measured these 4 qualities Professor McClelland could predict with 90% accuracy who would be leading a meaningful and happy life 20 years later.

If you look at the top 10 for 2010, I can understand why they don’t last. I’m sure being intoxicated doesn’t help our clarity and sustainability of commitment.

What’s your experience with goal setting? What has worked for you and what hasn’t? Please reply to this blog and let me know.

THE GOOD NEWS

We don’t have to wait until December 31, 2010 before we try again.

WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME

As some of you may know, I have done lots of reflection over the last 10 years to understand what is really important to me. My life mission is to help people to realise that they can not only bounce back from adversity and depression, but also go on to lead inspired lives. I have decided to launch the BACK FROM THE BRINK book series in the US as I know what a difference it makes to have real people discuss their battles, struggles and victories. A key part of the success of the Australian book was having some high profile people in the book. This helped significantly in generating publicity. I am going to Chicago at the end of April to be a keynote speaker at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance conference (this group is partnering with me for the US versions). I am then going on to New York to present my proposal to publishers.

MY GOAL – TO HAVE 4 US/UK CELEBRITIES AGREE TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR BFTB BY APRIL 15

I need your help. So far I have tried contacting the high profile people via their managers with a disappointing result. I found in Australia that when I was able to speak with the celebrities directly there was a much higher probability of success.

DO YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE, OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES?

Jane Pauley – former host of Today                                   Greg Louganis – Olympic gold – diving

Carrie Fisher – actress Star Wars                                       Mike Wallace – TV journalist

George Stephanopoulos – ABC commentator                     Buzz Aldrin – Astronaut

Owen Wilson – Actor                                                           Richard Dreyfuss                                           

Brooke Shields – Actress                                                      Marie Osmond – Singer

Jim Carrey – Actor                                                                 Larry King – TV Journalist

Winona Ryder – Actress                                                        Brian Wilson – Musician

Terry Bradshaw – NFL Footballer                                          JK Rawling – Author

Trish Goddard – TV presenter                                               George Michael – Singer

HOW YOU CAN HELP

If you know one of these people or how I can find away to contact them directly, please respond to this email. If you are reading this on my blog and want to contact me directly please email me at graeme@graemecowan.com.au .  Alternatively you may know an option through Facebook or Twitter – I will try anything.

Please respond to the blog and let us know what you think. Are there any subjects you would like me to cover?

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

www.GraemeCowan.com.au

The single largest pool of untapped resource in this world is human good intentions that never translate into action. –Cindy Gallop

For some time now, I have been helping to organise RUOK?Day and RUOK?Arvo. I believe these two events could make a big difference in how people who are struggling with adversity are treated in the workplace and the community. Below is an outline of RUOK?Day and RUOK?Arvo and at the bottom is brief 100 word summary that could be used to describe RUOK?Arvo in a newsletter. If you have any suggestions about helping us to be successful in our quest please respond to the blog below.

RUOK?Day and RUOK?Arvo

Chances are that you know someone who is going through divorce, has lost a loved one, has a serious illness, is facing financial hardship, been retrenched, or having trouble with their children. For some people these crises can cause anxiety and a flat mood. For some it can progress into full blown clinical depression or an anxiety disorder.

Most of us would like to help, but we often opt out because we don’t know how to start the discussion, or are a little fearful that we could open a “can of worms”. The government recently announced that Medicare rebates for psychological counselling have increased 54% for 2009 over 2008. This is a problem that won’t go away unless we all take action.

This was the reason that RUOK?Day was created. We believe that a conversation can change a life and invite you to participate on Sunday Nov 29^th, 2009. Expert advice and videos can be found at www.RUOKDay.com.au

Action you could take

1.       Visit www.RUOKDay.com.au and review resources.

2.       Put Sunday Nov 29 in your diary and promise to make contact with one person you think could be struggling.

IF YOU WORK CONSIDER THIS

A 2007 Medicare Private study showed that by far the largest contributor to lost productivity in the Australian economy was caused by depression and anxiety.  Since 2007, Davidson Trahaire, by far Australia’s largest workplace counselling group, has seen client sessions for stress and anxiety increase 76% and 68% respectively.

This is why www.RUOKArvo.com.au has been created on Friday November 27 – the Friday afternoon before RUOK?Day. On this afternoon participating companies will invite all employees to reach out to one person – either a loved one or a work colleague – and ask RUOK?

At www.RUOKArvo.com.au you will find:

1.       Simple instructions on how your team or company can register and participate in RUOK?Arvo

2.       A downloadable  “How to ask RUOK? and support guide” and related video – for those concerned – see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koEjNP6H-sg

3.       A downloadable “I’m not OK and support guide” and related video – for those struggling

4.       A downloadable “Team Leaders Meeting Guide” and related video plus RUOK?Arvo Poster – on how to present RUOK?Arvo and engage the team

The organisations below have between 30 and 25,000 employees and have decided that these issues are so universal, that they will invite all their employees to ask RUOK? on Friday November 27.

FOUNDING SUPPORTERS OF RUOK?ARVO

Alexion, APN  Media, AT Kearney, Australian Human Resources Institute, Black Dog Institute, CareerOne, Cbus Super, Cochlear, Davidson Trahaire Corpsych, DLA Phillips Fox, Freehills, Inspire Foundation, Investment and Financial Services Association, Lifeline, Lundbeck, Mental Health Association of NSW, News Limited, Ramsay Healthcare, Reach Out, SANE Australia, Sex Discrimination Commission, Simon & Schuster, STW Group, Talent2,  The Next Step, Toll Holdings, University of Western Sydney, Zurich Financial Services

Action you could take:

1.       Discuss RUOK?Arvo with 2 work colleagues and your team leader. If you decide you would like to participate as a team why not register at:  www.ruokarvo.com.au

Turn your good intentions into action by asking RUOK? - nothing changes until someone acts.

100 word summary

Do you know someone who is struggling?

RUOK?Arvo  - a conversation could change a life

November 27, 2009

Do you know someone who is struggling with depression or anxiety but don’t know how to open a conversation with them.  Organisations with between 20 and 25000 employees have already agreed to invite everyone to ask RUOK?  to a loved one or work colleague on November 27. For a 3 minute video on how to ask RUOK? see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koEjNP6H-sg

 To register and find full resources and support to help you start a conversation that could change a life, please go to www.ruokarvo.com.au 

 As I mentioned before, please let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions by responding to the blog below.

Kind Regards

Graeme

For some time now, I have been emailing you with advice about how to overcome depression. I would now like you to tell me what you find most effective. But first some background……

UNDERSTANDING WHAT REALLY WORKS

I get very irate when I hear “experts” in the media saying that there are only 2 evidence based treatments for depression, antidepressants and psychological counselling…. What utter baloney. Don’t get me wrong – I still take antidepressants and have benefitted from psychological counselling, but I also know that there are many, many, other factors that contribute to our mental health. Things such as exercise, emotional support from loved ones, fulfilling work, relaxation and nutrition to name a few.

WE THAT LIVE WITH DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR ARE THE REAL EXPERTS ON WHAT WORKS

Some of you who read my first book, BACK FROM THE BRINK, would know that I included the results of two surveys: one done for the book by Ultrafeedback in 2007 and one undertaken by the Black Dog Institute(BDI) in the previous year. The results from those surveys certainly challenged traditional approaches towards depression treatments.

Well it is now 2009 and I’ve decided to revisit this issue again with a survey that looks at the effectiveness of a broad range of strategies. It really combines the best features of the Ultrafeedback and BDI survey.  Through my association with www.DBSAlliance.org in the US, I am having people with depression from across North America also completing the survey, and hopefully other depression websites from around the world will help make this a truly global one.

I NEED YOUR HELP

I would love you to spend 10 minutes completing this survey and I will share the results for free on www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com  once the analysis has been completed – the survey will close on December 11, 2009. To access the survey please go to:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=XI_2bk_2f_2fgIwvYmsvuAz2UBlQ_3d_3d

I really appreciate you taking the time to complete the 10 minute survey and I look forward to sharing the results with you.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INVITE OTHERS WITH DEPRESSION TO COMPLETE THIS SURVEY

The more that complete this survey the better so please feel free to forward this on to anyone you know who has experienced depression.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=XI_2bk_2f_2fgIwvYmsvuAz2UBlQ_3d_3d

Kind Regards

Graeme

This is the first of a 2 part article for Lawyers Weekly magazine. Although there are some aspects relating to the legal area, the message is applicable to all workplaces

Feeling like you are treading water in a whirlpool? Are you struggling with continued interruptions that leave your mind always cloudy? Finding it difficult to switch off from work and sleep properly? Wound up like a spring?

Rest assured, you are not alone.

In 2007 Medibank Private commissioned a study by Econtech which found the cost to the Australian economy of absenteeism was $ 7 billion and presenteeism amounted to a staggering $26 billion. The report concluded that by far the biggest contributor to this productivity loss was depression and anxiety disorders.

Stress has ballooned in the last year

Since the GFC, the strain has been building rapidly with the number of people seeking Medicare rebates for psychological services growing by a staggering 54% from March 2008 to March 2009. Australia’s largest workplace counselling provider, Davidson Trahaire Corpsych reported that sessions related to stress, anxiety and depression were up 62% from last year.

What makes this even more concerning is that in research undertaken for my book BACK FROM THE BRINK only 9% of people living with depression and anxiety disorders in Australia felt comfortable discussing it with their work colleagues.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that managers are very reluctant to initiate a discussion with someone who is struggling with depression and anxiety as they fear they “may open a can of worms”. This avoidance strategy couldn’t be more wrong with clinicians unanimously agreeing that the earlier an episode is addressed the better the outcome for the employee and the organisation.

The high rate of depression and substance abuse by lawyers is well documented. In the recent survey conducted for the Tristan Jepson Memorial Foundation, 35% of law students recorded High to Very High Kessler-10 Distress, solicitors scored 31%, barristers 17%, versus a general population of 13%.

It is beyond the scope of this article to propose long term solutions to this complex problem, but I would like to contribute some short and medium term strategies that can significantly improve people’s mood and performance in the workplace. Before discussing these recommendations however, I need to discuss levels of distress.

The moodometer

I find people can relate to the concept of a moodometer. A moodometer is marked from 0 - 10 where 10= when you are physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually thriving, 5= is when you are stressed. You probably aren’t sleeping well, are having headaches or digestive problems but are still hopeful of getting better, 0 = suicidal - you are relying on drugs to get through the day and have lost hope of improving. For the purpose of qualifying advice, 0-4 is red zone, 4-6 amber zone, and 6-10 green zone.

What happens when faced with adversity

Most people’s response to adversity is to slide down the moodometer. This is understandable, but our fulfilment and success in life is ultimately determined by how quickly we can bounce back from these challenges. The focus of my recommendations is for individuals in the red and amber zones (63% of solicitors versus 37% for general population).

I have been at the lowest levels of the red zone and it is a place of great despair. What makes it particularly dangerous is that when I was there, I had given up hope of getting better, and couldn’t remember being mentally healthy. My mind was cloudy and I had difficulty in making decisions as quickly as I once did. I mention this for those that may be feeling this way, because after some changes in my lifestyle, I now live my life almost entirely in the green zone. I firmly believe that you can not only bounce back to where you were before, but if you are open to the lessons presented in these challenges, you may come out the other side thriving. You have no choice but to act now – no one deserves to dread each day.

Rarely do things improve by themselves

For those in the amber zone, you may be tempted to keep hanging in there hoping that things will turn around by themselves – they probably won’t. You can’t keep doing the same thing and be hopeful of getting a different result. You are in survival mode and probably can’t see options available that may help improve your life.

No matter what you know intellectually, when you are going through hard times there is a strong tendency to believe that you are the only one going through it. I know I felt this way. Since I have told my story of battling depression in the work place so publicly, I have found that every person I meet has someone close to them with a similar experience. Believe me – you are not alone.

Short term action

If you have been feeling in the red or amber zone every day for two weeks, the first thing you should do is to see your GP, a psychologist, or counsellor from your EAP provider (if you have one). If you are reluctant to do that you should at least consider an anonymous self test for depression at www.BlackDogInstitue.org.au  If the test suggests you need to speak to a mental health professional then organise an appointment immediately.

Exercise is essential

The second thing you should commit to doing is at least 30 minutes exercise each day. This doesn’t have to be a marathon – a 30 minute brisk walk in a park amongst nature at lunch time is enough. When you walk try to be in the moment and observe the plants, birds, animals and insects along the way. If you prefer swimming, cycling, aerobics, or dancing, do that. Research by the Black Dog Institute has shown exercise to be the most effective strategy (with no negative side effects) for improving depressive symptoms.

Emotional support 

Your third strategy should be to share you situation with someone you trust. This could be your spouse or partner, family member, or a friend. If your low mood is impacting your productivity at work, I would also strongly recommend talking to your manager. They have mostly likely already noticed the changes and it is better that they are aware of the real issue and don’t dismiss it as just a performance problem. Besides, you will need their support and approval if you are required to take time off to see doctors and to exercise.

Follow guidance

It is important in the next 4 weeks that you follow your doctors advice, exercise 30 minutes per day 6 days per week, and plan to meet with loved ones at least 2-3 times per week. I found it helpful to sit down on a Sunday and plan when I was going to schedule these activities in my diary for the week ahead. If you don’t plan for it in advance – it won’t happen. You need to do these things even if you don’t FEEL like it. The opposite of resilience is rigidity.

Next week

In the next issue I will be covering the remaining 4 essential strategies for bouncing back from adversity and specifically focusing on medium term action plans. I will also be outlining what managers, team mates and organisations can do to assist someone who is struggling.

WHAT IS YOUR EXPERIENCE

If you have any comments or questions about what has been outlined above please reply to the blog below. You only need to put your first name and email address (which isn’t made public) to register.

I look forward to your input.

Kind Regards

Graeme

From personal experience I know how hard it is to exercise when you are struggling with depression. On some days I was struggling to get out of bed and the thought of getting dressed and out the front door seemed like an impossibility.

I now know that having regular exercise is the most effective depression treatment

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that exercise is the only strategy to pursue - just the most important. It is not just me saying that - over 3000 people from both the Ultrafeedback and the Blackdog Institute survey results said the same thing. For a free copy of the most effective depression treatments research report please go to:

http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/landing4.html

We don’t know exactly why this is so, but I have a hypothesis that it comes down to two main factors:

1. Exercise stimulates the feel good endorphins in the brain and also gets you out of the rut of being inside all the time.
2. Completing some task each day provides a sense of achievement.

It doesn’t really matter why it makes you feel better - just do what works.

So how do we start doing something so good for us that we don’t feel like doing?

Feelings aren’t facts is a www.grow.net.au saying and when we are depressed we often have to go against those lethargic and hopeless feelings.

It’s not a simple process, but let me share what I have found after talking with hundreds of people on this topic. I know there is something substantial in this as some pharmaceutical companies are already seeking to duplicate the effect exercise has on the body by creating a new pill to take!!!!!!!!!

7 thoughts on getting started

1. Find something you (or used to) enjoy doing - quite frankly it doesn’t matter what type of exercise you pursue - walking, jogging, dancing, cycling, rollerblading, swimming, treadmill, exercising the dog, cross country skiing etc - to be regular it is important to do something you enjoy.
2. Start small - a big mistake many people make is the belief they have to exercise for two hours each day to make a difference. When you are depressed you want “whisker goals” not “stretch goals”. If you are stuck in bed or watching TV all day - for the first week decide to put on your walking shoes and just get out to the letter box. Once you’re there you may decide to walk further but you don’t have to - all you have to do is get out to front gate. Alternatively, if you are stuck in front of the TV decide to put on a timer for 5 minutes and walk up and down on the spot until the timer goes off - you get the idea. If you are not as incapacitated by your depression set yourself a “just right” goal - not too hard not too easy. I started walking 15 minutes per day and then over a period of 4 weeks built it up to 40 minutes per day.
3. Just start - believe me just starting the exercise is 70% of the effort.
4. Resolve to exercise everyday but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t I started off exercising every second day but often couldn’t remember if I had done it the previous day or not. Believe it or not I found it easier to exercise 6 days a week and give myself Sunday off - what a pleasure it was to sleep in on those days. If you don’t make it everyday - don’t beat yourself up - we do far too much of that when we are depressed any way - just accept it and resolve to recommence tomorrow.
5. Consider exercising with a loved one or group Many people find it hard to exercise themselves but find it really difficult to let a friend or family member down. For some reason there is a greater commitment when it is with loved ones. The other benefit of exercising with others is that it also becomes a social activity which can help the problem of isolation.
6. Try to be in the moment when you exercise - observe flowers, plants, insects, birds, animals, noises, smells, etc when you are walking. Some people keep a walking journal and describe being relatively free of rumination when they are concentrating on what they are going to be writing about when they return.
7. Don’t be afraid to mix and match if you get sick of walking for example don’t be afraid to try something else like learn a martial art, or join a gym. Some people utilise a trainer to help provide the variety.

Be gentle on yourself - It is not how many times we stumble but how many times we get up and keep trying that will determine our fulfillment and sense of well being.

What has been your experience?

We have a wealth of wisdom amongst our members. What has been your experience with exercise? What have you found helpful to get over that lethargic feeling and start? How do you keep going when you get bored or don’t feel like it? Please share it by responding to the blog below. You only need to put your first name and email address (which won’t be published).

Kind Regards

Graeme

Research has shown quite clearly that for the majority of people looking for a therapist, the rapport he or she feels is influenced more by compatibility of personality, than professional qualifications, experience, age or gender.

This is not to say that the latter qualities are unimportant, indeed they are!

However, most would agree that: if you experience a strong aversion to a particular therapist, it is highly unlikely that you will want to engage in a working relationship with this therapist.

Good Therapy Australia, a not-for-profit health promotion charity, has designed a therapist profile page and directory search facility that maximises the chance of a “good match” between therapist and client.

Their website – www.goodtherapy.com.au – includes information on the various approaches to therapy. Educating one’s self about the different orientations can be helpful because what appeals to one person will not necessarily appeal to everyone.

While some therapists work primarily with dialogue – the session is essentially a conversation – others, who have trained in complementary modalities such as Art Therapy, Gestalt, Psychodrama or HeartMath; may incorporate therapeutic processes that engage us in a number of different ways.

These processes, often experiential in nature, enable us to become more aware of the emotional/physical/mental blocks that keep us stuck.

Whether you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or self-destructive patterns, what you ultimately find helpful will depend on your openness to moving beyond your present situation, and the quality of connection you create with your therapist.

To explore what is meaningful for you, you may want to participate in Good Therapy’s online surveys: Looking for a Therapist; The Therapeutic Space; Questions for Therapists.

http://www.goodtherapy.com.au/flex/surveys/253/1

Also, an article that addresses some of the issues relevant to Choosing a Therapist:

http://www.goodtherapy.com.au/flex/choosing_a_therapist_title/101/1

END OF ARTICLE

I think this provides some excellent insight and advice. I would also suggest asking the following questions after the first visit:

1. Did the therapist strive to fully understand your situation?
2. Did they outline a plan you had confidence in?
3. Did you trust them and feel positive about returning?

 A good GP can be a fantastic guide to a good therapist as they regularly hear the feedback of patients who have been referred. Another source of psychologists that have a special interest in depression and anxiety and are in your area can be found at www.beyondblue.org.au

My recommendation is that if your therapist doesn’t tick all the above boxes after your first visit you should find another. This is much easier said than done when you are feeling very low which brings me back to my first point, that you should seek out a therapist before it gets to a crisis situation.

What has been your experience in finding a therapist? Do you have any suggestions? What do you like best about a therapist? What do you like least?

Please add your contribution by responding to this blog. Your responses are anonymous as you just need to enter your first name and email address (which won’t be published).Your suggestion could really help someone else.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Article in The Economist June 27th, 2009 - Page 89

A friend recently made me aware of a very interesting article in The Economist.

The hypothesis

Randolph Nesse, a psychologist and researcher in evolutionary medicine at the University of Michigan, likens the relationship between mild and clinical depression to the one between normal to chronic pain.

Dr Nesse’s hypothesis is that, as pain stops you doing damaging physical things, so low mood stops you doing damaging mental ones - in particular, in particlar pursuing unreachable goals. He asserts, that pursuing such goals is a waste of energy and resources. Therefore he argues, there is likely to be an evolved mechanism that recognizes certain goals as unattainable and inhibits their pursuit - and he believes low mood is at least part of that mechanism.

The evidence

In a study published recently by Carsten Wrosch from Concordia University in Montreal he studied depression in teenage girls. They measured the “goal adjustment strategies” of 97 girls aged 15-19 years over the course of 19 months. They asked participants about their ability to disengage with unattainable goals and re-engage with new goals. They also asked them about a range of symptoms associated with depression, and changed over the course of the study.

Study findings

Their conclusion was that those that experienced mild depressive symptoms could indeed disengage from unattainable goals. It also found a remarkable corollary:those women who could disengage from the unattainable, proved less likely to suffer more serious depression in the long run.

Mild depressive symptoms can therefore be seen as a natural part of dealing with failure in young adulthood.

My take on this theory

As I have highlighted many times before, it is so difficult to make conclusive statements about “depression” as the term covers a multitude of conditions. Having said that, my gut tells me that there is something to this theory. I guess that comes from my own personal experience. On each occasion I have experienced a severe depressive episode, it has often been close to a downturn in the economy. I formally worked in recruitment, which is an industry very closely linked to the health of the economy and is also very accountable.

When I began missing my budgets, rather than blaming the economy, I tended to blame myself for not working hard enough. This also would explain why those with perfectionist personality traits are so vulnerable to depression - you can never achieve the goal of perfection.

It also reinforces my belief that when you are depressed you should set “whisker goals”. These are small attainment goals that put you on a path of “wins” that often have a positive impact on self esteem. It is also essential to celebrate these small wins so your brain knows that it is doing something right. A small celebration could be buying yourself a coffee, gelato, chocolate or your favourite magazine.

Your thoughts please?

I would be very interested for others to share their opinion regarding this theory. Please do so by responding to this blog.

Kind Regards

Graeme

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com