I know through the emails I receive and the feedback I get from my GROW group members that  a lot of people find the Christmas period very unsettling and depressing. Often it brings into focus what we don’t have or highlights difficult family relationships.

I came across a very good paper from the Internet called “10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy”. Whilst I usually shudder at these formulaic papers that promise happiness and fulfillment, this is a little different in that it is based on quantitative studies from positive psychology from the likes of Ed Diener, Standford Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post. They have studied people all over the world. Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for getting happy.

1. Savour Everyday Moments
2. Avoid Comparisons
3. Put Money Low on the List
4. Have Meaningful goals
5. Take Initiative at Work
6. Make friends, treasure family
7. Smile even when you don’t feel like it
8. Say thankyou like you mean it
9. Get out and exercise
10. Give it away, give it away now

For full details of the paper go to the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

I think this is a very interesting list as it really parallels my experience in overcoming depression.

Make 2009 depression free

Whilst most of you would know that I don’t believe in quick fixes for depression, I believe the key to starting a more fulfilling life is to take appropriate action. I am going to be reading this paper to my GROW group tonight and ask them if they would like to choose 2 of these strategies that they would like to concentrate on for the next 3 months.

When we meet back on January 5 I will ask them to describe what they will be doing to make these things a higher priority in there life. Over the Christmas break when things get a bit difficult they can reflect on what they will be doing to make 2009 more pleasant.

I hope all my readers and visitors have a restful break and feel the sense of a new dawn in 2009.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink, beating depression, depression, graeme cowan, happiness

The tragic news today of Richard Marslands suicide really brings home the point that we need to watch out for each other during this stressful period. Marsland was the popular co host of MMM Melbourne’s morning breakfast program.

Whilst we can never know what was going through his head, research shows that the Christmas period is often a very unpleasant time for lots of people. After a year of frenetic activity some people find they don’t always have the close friends and family that are portrayed in all the advertisements. Here are some thoughts to help get you grounded:

Step Back

While everyone tries to do a million things during these next 3 weeks it is important to take some time to step back from the activity and realise that you don’t “have to” do anything. You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars or go to constant parties to be worthwhile. See the activity for what it is. Unfortunately much of the commercial world sees this period as an opportunity to get people to spend lots of money and to forget about the true meaning of Christmas. Make a list of what you have to do before Chistmas and really consider what is essential and what would be nice to do.

Experience the now

Try to find something that really allows you to experience the moment. What many of prophets have known for millenniums and which modern science is now just realising is that the capacity to live in the now is often the secret to a fulfilling life. This is the Buddhist concept of mindfulness. Psychology Today produced a wonderful, practical story called “Six Steps to living in the moment” http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20081027-000001&print=1

Reach out

In this time of 24/7 activity many of us forget to take time to reach out to others when they are having a hard time or if we are experiencing difficulties. In the 12 Step mental health program GROW there is a saying that “Friendship is the special key to mental health”. Through my own experiences, I am totally convinced this is the case. When you care for another it often takes you outside your own issues. “To have a friend, be a friend.”

Value yourself and others

“As I am healed and harmonized by responding to the offer of true friendship, so the measure of my maturity is my capacity to be a true friend.” GROW saying www.grow.net.au Connecting with others really helps with loneliness and sometimes we forget to give this the priority it deserves.

If anyone else has any suggestions or thoughts about how to make this period less lonely or stressful please respond to this blog. 

Look out for each other.

Kind Regards

Graeme

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink, depression, graeme cowan, stress, suicide

What is spirituality?

I believe spirituality is identifying the things that are truly important to you and giving them the priority they deserve.

How to overcome depression?

Some time back I was asked to speak regarding spiritual solutions to depression. Now I know more than most that the word depression covers a myriad of conditions and I hesitate to talk about simple cures. For those that know me I believe there are 6 strategies you need to focus on when trying to manage/ overcome depression: exercise, support from family and friends, psychological counselling, fulfilling work, relaxation/meditation, and medication.

What underpins all these things?

In my own recovery, I found that when I was severely depressed, I was best to focus on exercise and contact with family and friends. As I started to improve, I embraced meditation and this really helped with being centred and seeing things with new clarity. I came to realise that when I looked back to my past, much of my self esteem was tied up with external achievements. When things were going well I was fine and when they weren’t I crumbled. I now believe that striving to be of service to others is the key to my mental health. I’m not saying that this is the case for everyone but I have certainly found it to be true for me.

Who am I?

I have spoken on several occasions with Charlie Hogg, The Director of the Brahma Kumaris in Australia. Over the years Charlie has helped thousands of people learn how to meditate. He says that 80% of the people who come to learn are struggling with depression and/or an anxiety disorder. Many have been trying to find happiness and peace through achievements and material possessions and have found that to be a losing battle. They think of themselves as their gender, occupation, marital status, income level etc. When these don’t measure up with their expectations of the perfect life they feel disillusioned.

Source of Happiness

Charlie has no income, and no traditional material possessions, yet he is one of the happiest and most positive people I know. He truly feels fulfilled when he is serving others. When I was interviewed recently by Richard Fiedler on the Conversation Hour, he made the comment that the happiest people he has interviewed (and his has spoken to an incredible cross section) are those that are dedicated to helping others.

This is no quick fix

What I am describing above is no quick fix, but I believe that finding our what is truly important to you and then spending a lot of your time addressing this purpose in central to sustainable happiness and fulfillment. An important part of this is understanding your strengths and finding out what special skills or qualities you have that you like to use. Martin Seligman did some great work in this area in his book Authentic Happiness - see http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx . At this website you will find some tools to help you understand your strenghts

Brinkmanship

I believe that depression, like any adversity has the potential to be transformed into a gift. If through your pain you are able to come out the other side with new priorities in life and a new mission then I believe you can consider yourself blessed. Don’t get me wrong. I know that depression can be a living hell but like every crisis it can EVENTUALLY be turned into an opportunity. I believe that depression has such a high recurrence rate because people that don’t come to terms with what is important to them and change their lifestyle accordingly have to eventually revisit it.

For an excellent artictle on this subject from the Mayo Clinic please see: http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/mental-behavioral-health/bipolar-disorder/living-with-bipolar-disorder/spirituality-stress-relief?msc=A62687 

If you have a view on this topic, please respond to this post.

KInd Regards

Graeme

Tags: anxiety, back from the brink, depression, depression treatments, graeme cowan, spiritual solutions

This morning Andrew Johns completed his walk from Newcastle to Sydney to raise funds for the Black Dog Institute research and awareness of bipolar and depression.

Raised $2 million

Even though it was a magnificent effort to raise these funds I think Andrew’s greatest contribution was to talk openly about his own experiences. I know from the feedback I have had from BACK FROM THE BRINK, that personal stories help bring down the bricks of stigma. I remember doing  a book signing in Perth where every third person commented that they felt comfortable discussing their depression with family after Geoff Gallop, the ex Premier of WA, admitted to his own struggles with the illness when resigning from parliament.

Real stories move hearts

It may seem like a courageous thing to do but I have been amazed how supportive people have been when discussing my own illness. Inevitably it leads to the person then feeling comfortable discussing their own story of a loved one (or even themselves) - and I now know that everyone has a story.

I encourage you to share your story with family and friends so that we can discuss mental illness as easily as we do physical illnesses. I encourage you to read the story on this topic from the Mayo Clinic in the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: andrew johns, bipolar, depression, mental illness, stigma

It was all going so smoothly

As many of you would know, I had my routine down pat. Rise at 5.45am, meditate for 20 minutes and then go for a 45 minute bushwalk before having breakfast and beginning my work. I felt healthy and energetic and was very productive.

Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans

Then three weeks ago I unexpectedly (is it ever expected!!!) broke my ankle when I crashed into my son on a waterslide. Last week after another xray my specialist decided to insert a plate and screws into my fibular as the fracture had become displaced. I had all these plans of things I would like to do in October and November and I’m spending most of  my time in hospitals and doctors surgeries. I now find myself rising at 8.30 and taking an hour and a half to have breakfast, clean up and have a shower. I’m eating more than I should and starting to feel a bit blarrrrrr.

Feeling sorry for myself

At the time it happened I commented that I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than go through a period of depression again. Whilst that is still true, the full impact of my injury and the limitations it places on me are just starting to really hit home. I can’t drive, so I am restricted to my house and going a bit stir crazy. I can’t put any weight on my broken leg so things like cooking, washing up, cleaning, and working become a real challenge. I’m focussing at everything I can’t do.

Then I saw a movie

On Friday night I watched “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. For those who haven’t seen it, it is the true story of the French editor of Elle magazine, who suddenly was struck down by an illness known as “locked in syndrome”.  Whilst his mind was still functioning normally, he lost movement in every muscle except his eyelid. What extraordinary frustration that man suffered as most people saw him as “vegetable” when his mind was still alert.

One blink at a time

Though a very patient speech therapist, he learnt a system whereby he would blink when she said the right letter. They had to go through this agonising process to identify the right letter, which became a word, which became a sentence, which became a paragraph, which became a chapter, which became a book. I thought I had problems writing my two books!!!!!!!!

When I was depressed…

I would have thought “interesting movie but at least he is not depressed”. Thankfully now, I’m not depressed but I’m aware that I have to take action so that I don’t slip back there again. Seeing the movie has helped me realise how “able” I am compared to the “Diving Bell”. Whilst it is difficult, today I am going to recalibrate my weekly goals and realise that I am going to need the assistance from others to get through this period.

My goals for next week

1. Rise by 6.00am, meditate and do 20 minutes of stretching
2. Eat 10% less than I have been eating
3. Reach out to family and friends via phone and email
4. Finalise a telephone seminar course designed to help carers provide the best support to those living with depression.

I’ll let you know how I go.

Kind Regards

Graeme 

Tags: back from the brink, back from the brink too, depression, graeme cowan, stigma

Last week I went away with my son and his cousin on a holiday to Forster. We had a great time until we went to a fun park!!! I followed Adam down a water slide. We had a good distance between us but unbeknown to me his mat got caught on the tube.  I crashed into him at great speed and for the first time in my life I broke a bone - a fibula.  Luckily he escaped injury.

This week I was asked to speak at a forum for the Sydney Leadership Centre for Mental Health Week. I raised my leg on the table and said it highlighted the anomaly that existed in Mental Health Week. With a cast on my leg everyone wanted to help me by opening doors, carrying bags, holding lifts, holding food, asking how it happened etc. I couldn’t help comparing this experience with my time when I suffered with depression when many people are too embarrassed or don’t know how to offer help.  Even so called close and lifelong friends would evaporate because they did not know what to say or do.

Why is that we feel reluctant to offer the same level of assistance to those living with a mental illness. To be honest I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than have to go through an episode of depression again. I know that depression is much more disabling than a broken bone but in 2008 this is not generally known or acknowledged.

My wish is that when people encounter someone who isn’t coping that they show as much compassion to them as they would if they came across someone in a plaster caste. It’s time we recognized an inequity for what it is. It’s time to start breaking down the stigma walls.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: back from the brink, back from the brink too, depression, graeme cowan, mental health week, stigma

In an article I just posted in the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com called the The Great Male Meltdown it laments the poor record men have in seeing a doctor when something is not going right . It highlights the much higher death rate each year for men versus women from cancer and heart disease. The article argues that men have evolved from a time when the emphasis in life was to secure food for the table and anything that took them away from that was not good.

Why won’t men discuss depression?

When you bring depression and anxiety disorders into the picture the story only gets worse. I can speak from first hand experience when I say that in 1989 I was so ashamed to be not coping with life. This kept me from seeing a doctor and discussing the insomnia, anxiety, lethargy, and black thoughts. Due to the ever increasing spiral downwards I became convinced that there was no hope of me getting better and I thought I would be doing everyone a favour to end my life. Thankfully I was unsuccessful but I know even today that many men are making this same mistake.

It’s happening in rural area’s as well

I spoke at a small Queensland town called Murgon last week. The town had organised the event because they had been rocked by a recent spate of male suicides. I spoke afterwards with a surviving family of one of these tragedies and they were still so distraught that there son hadn’t reached out to them. When you are that depressed, the depression tells you that you will never get better again, and that is why you need to confide in others to give you perspective.

Please seek help

Depression is eminently treatable. I really believe that I was spared my suicide attempts to spread the message that you can recover from depression and go on to lead a very fulfilling life - for details of my path out of 5 years of hell see http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/eBook.html 

Don’t believe you are doing anyone a favour by not seeking help

Depression is potentially a life threatening illness. If you think your family is better off without you - you are 1000% wrong. I have spoken to many families who have been devasted by a loved one’s suicide. They punish themselves by always questioning what they missed. It makes me shudder when I think of how close I came to putting my own family through that.

If you are not coping, please, please see your GP.

If you are feeling suicidal call the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 where you can have 5x 50 minute sessions with a trained counsellor for free.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: anxiety disorders, depression, suicide

One of the biggest problems you have when you google depression or anxiety disorders is that you get 6 Trillion websites - where do you start?

I am very proud of the new resources section for  www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com . It is extremely comprehensive and covers helplines, organisations, websites, support groups, and books for Australia, New Zealand, USA, UK, and Canada.

It was put together with a huge contribution from a friend of mine, who wishes to remain anonymous. It is broken down into subcategories which include:

General Mental Health

Depression

Bipolar

Child and Adolescent

Carers

Post and Antenatal Depression

Anxiety Disorders

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Support Groups

There is also a large listing of books that is broken down into the same categories and are linked directly to Amazon so that you can read more about each book to see if it is for you.

You can check out the resources section at: http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/resources.html

Hopefully this directory will save you lots of time in identifying websites that have good material.

Have a look at the section and let me know by answering this blog if there are any other sites that you think should be included. http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com/resources.html

Kind Regards

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: anxiety, bipolar, depression, depression books, depression resources

The launch week for BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO is almost here. After a year of researching, writing, and gently prodding along, my new baby is about to greet the world. It’s a very exciting yet stressful time and I have had to be sensitive to ensuring my own mental health is not compromised with all the activity.

The publicity process has been underway for some time and yesterday I had two interviews. The first was with my local paper, the Northside Courier and then Lucy Brogden and I had a pre recorded interview with ABC’s radio National. It was a real honour to appear with Lucy as she is so passionate and articulate on the subject of caring for a loved one with depression.

The major events to occur in the next week or so are as follows:

Monday September 8

Sunrise Channel 7, 8.15am approx – Lucy and I to be interviewed

ABC Radio National, 9.15am approx – Lucy and I to be interviewed

Kerri Anne Channel 9. 9.45am approx – Lucy and I to be interviewed

Tuesday September 9

Sydneylaunch 11.00am Blackdog Institute Randwick

Thursday September 11

Melbourne launch

Saturday September 13

11.00am - Book signing Shelley’s bookshop, 731 Pacific Hwy, Gordon (Sydney)

Wednesday  September 17

ABC Radio NSW and QLD, 1 hour interview on Conversation Hour

Keep an eye on your inbox on Monday morning as a have a wonderful free resource to share with you.

Can I ask you a favour?

Next time your near a book shop can you ask them if they have BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO in as you’ve heard it is excellent.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: depression, depression caregiver, depresssion carer, Emotional Support

The nature of today’s lifestyle is pretty hectic. For those of us that work, being available at all times is often the norm. In this time of relentless deadlines and constant interuptions we rarely have time to reflect on what is really important.

Some time ago I came across www.peacepulse.org

When you open this website to your browser, every hour a little bell sounds and beautiful pciture appears on your computer screen. You then have 1 minute to switch off before another bell sounds. I have been using this for the last couple of years and have been amazed at some of the insights and answers that have come during this quiet time.

Try giving yourself 8 minutes during the day to provide some clarity and replenish your spirit.

www.peacepulse.org

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: clarity, depression, meditation, relaxation