I know through the emails I receive and the feedback I get from my GROW group members that  a lot of people find the Christmas period very unsettling and depressing. Often it brings into focus what we don’t have or highlights difficult family relationships.

I came across a very good paper from the Internet called “10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy”. Whilst I usually shudder at these formulaic papers that promise happiness and fulfillment, this is a little different in that it is based on quantitative studies from positive psychology from the likes of Ed Diener, Standford Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post. They have studied people all over the world. Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for getting happy.

1. Savour Everyday Moments
2. Avoid Comparisons
3. Put Money Low on the List
4. Have Meaningful goals
5. Take Initiative at Work
6. Make friends, treasure family
7. Smile even when you don’t feel like it
8. Say thankyou like you mean it
9. Get out and exercise
10. Give it away, give it away now

For full details of the paper go to the news section of www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

I think this is a very interesting list as it really parallels my experience in overcoming depression.

Make 2009 depression free

Whilst most of you would know that I don’t believe in quick fixes for depression, I believe the key to starting a more fulfilling life is to take appropriate action. I am going to be reading this paper to my GROW group tonight and ask them if they would like to choose 2 of these strategies that they would like to concentrate on for the next 3 months.

When we meet back on January 5 I will ask them to describe what they will be doing to make these things a higher priority in there life. Over the Christmas break when things get a bit difficult they can reflect on what they will be doing to make 2009 more pleasant.

I hope all my readers and visitors have a restful break and feel the sense of a new dawn in 2009.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink, beating depression, depression, graeme cowan, happiness

The tragic news today of Richard Marslands suicide really brings home the point that we need to watch out for each other during this stressful period. Marsland was the popular co host of MMM Melbourne’s morning breakfast program.

Whilst we can never know what was going through his head, research shows that the Christmas period is often a very unpleasant time for lots of people. After a year of frenetic activity some people find they don’t always have the close friends and family that are portrayed in all the advertisements. Here are some thoughts to help get you grounded:

Step Back

While everyone tries to do a million things during these next 3 weeks it is important to take some time to step back from the activity and realise that you don’t “have to” do anything. You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars or go to constant parties to be worthwhile. See the activity for what it is. Unfortunately much of the commercial world sees this period as an opportunity to get people to spend lots of money and to forget about the true meaning of Christmas. Make a list of what you have to do before Chistmas and really consider what is essential and what would be nice to do.

Experience the now

Try to find something that really allows you to experience the moment. What many of prophets have known for millenniums and which modern science is now just realising is that the capacity to live in the now is often the secret to a fulfilling life. This is the Buddhist concept of mindfulness. Psychology Today produced a wonderful, practical story called “Six Steps to living in the moment” http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20081027-000001&print=1

Reach out

In this time of 24/7 activity many of us forget to take time to reach out to others when they are having a hard time or if we are experiencing difficulties. In the 12 Step mental health program GROW there is a saying that “Friendship is the special key to mental health”. Through my own experiences, I am totally convinced this is the case. When you care for another it often takes you outside your own issues. “To have a friend, be a friend.”

Value yourself and others

“As I am healed and harmonized by responding to the offer of true friendship, so the measure of my maturity is my capacity to be a true friend.” GROW saying www.grow.net.au Connecting with others really helps with loneliness and sometimes we forget to give this the priority it deserves.

If anyone else has any suggestions or thoughts about how to make this period less lonely or stressful please respond to this blog. 

Look out for each other.

Kind Regards

Graeme

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink, depression, graeme cowan, stress, suicide

Since the launch of BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO I have been able to research a number of visitors to my site to find out how I can further help the person suffering from depression and their caregiver.

The people that responded to the survey said that one of the things they would really value was the opportunity to participate in an anonymous telephone seminar on how the sufferer and their caregiver can work together to overcome depression.

I have come across some technology that enables the participants to either listen via their computer with speakers (using the internet) or by phone. It would also be possible to listen to a recording if you weren’t able to make the designated time. It will also be possible for me to answer questions raised before each seminar.

This type of format would allow me to share a much broader range of information than is possible in a book. In particular, with each point raised, I would like to share the perspective of both the person living with depression and the caregiver.

I have also come to realise that whilst some people like reading books, there are many others that would prefer to listen and watch.

Broadly speaking, I would see 4 seminars each being of around 60-90 minutes on a Tuesday night at 8pm, Sydney, Australia time. Each seminar will have accompanying materials

WEEK 1: WHAT REALLY, REALLY, WORKS IN MANAGING/ OVERCOMING DEPRESSION?

This will briefly outline the symptoms of depression but focus mainly on the evidence based strategies that are most effective for overcoming depression. I will outline a specific plan of action I recommend.

WEEK 2: FINDING THE RIGHT HELP FOR THE SUFFERER AND CAREGIVER

This week will show sufferers and carers how to find appropriate mental health professionals. It will include strategies to encourage the sufferer to seek help. It will also explain the mental health maze and how to access the right expertise. Getting the correct diagnosis and treatment is fundamental to recovery.

WEEK 3: BUILDING A SUPPORT NETWORK FOR THE SUFFERER AND CAREGIVER

Never have both parties been more in need of the care of family and friends. I will show how to build a plan brick by brick so both the sufferer and their caregiver can feel well supported. This support and cooperation is essential for implementing treatment strategies. Friendship is the special key to mental health.

WEEK 4: HELPING TO PREVENT A CRISIS AND SUSTAINING THE CARE

The taboo subject of self harm and suicide will be discussed from the perspective of the person living with depression and their loved ones. Strategies to help prevent a crisis occurring will be clearly explained. Recovery from depression is rarely a straight line and I will discuss what both parties can do when the road gets rocky. I will also outline some case studies of people who have been transformed by depression and gone on to lead very fulfilling lives.

There are of course costs involved in putting something like this on, but I plan to make Week 1 free so people can try before they buy.

The first seminar which will be on November 25^th, 2008.

If you have any questions or comments please respond to this blog.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Graeme Cowan

www.IamBackFromTheBrink.com

Tags: back from the brink too, depression caregivers, depression treatments, graeme cowan, overcoming depression

What is spirituality?

I believe spirituality is identifying the things that are truly important to you and giving them the priority they deserve.

How to overcome depression?

Some time back I was asked to speak regarding spiritual solutions to depression. Now I know more than most that the word depression covers a myriad of conditions and I hesitate to talk about simple cures. For those that know me I believe there are 6 strategies you need to focus on when trying to manage/ overcome depression: exercise, support from family and friends, psychological counselling, fulfilling work, relaxation/meditation, and medication.

What underpins all these things?

In my own recovery, I found that when I was severely depressed, I was best to focus on exercise and contact with family and friends. As I started to improve, I embraced meditation and this really helped with being centred and seeing things with new clarity. I came to realise that when I looked back to my past, much of my self esteem was tied up with external achievements. When things were going well I was fine and when they weren’t I crumbled. I now believe that striving to be of service to others is the key to my mental health. I’m not saying that this is the case for everyone but I have certainly found it to be true for me.

Who am I?

I have spoken on several occasions with Charlie Hogg, The Director of the Brahma Kumaris in Australia. Over the years Charlie has helped thousands of people learn how to meditate. He says that 80% of the people who come to learn are struggling with depression and/or an anxiety disorder. Many have been trying to find happiness and peace through achievements and material possessions and have found that to be a losing battle. They think of themselves as their gender, occupation, marital status, income level etc. When these don’t measure up with their expectations of the perfect life they feel disillusioned.

Source of Happiness

Charlie has no income, and no traditional material possessions, yet he is one of the happiest and most positive people I know. He truly feels fulfilled when he is serving others. When I was interviewed recently by Richard Fiedler on the Conversation Hour, he made the comment that the happiest people he has interviewed (and his has spoken to an incredible cross section) are those that are dedicated to helping others.

This is no quick fix

What I am describing above is no quick fix, but I believe that finding our what is truly important to you and then spending a lot of your time addressing this purpose in central to sustainable happiness and fulfillment. An important part of this is understanding your strengths and finding out what special skills or qualities you have that you like to use. Martin Seligman did some great work in this area in his book Authentic Happiness - see http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx . At this website you will find some tools to help you understand your strenghts

Brinkmanship

I believe that depression, like any adversity has the potential to be transformed into a gift. If through your pain you are able to come out the other side with new priorities in life and a new mission then I believe you can consider yourself blessed. Don’t get me wrong. I know that depression can be a living hell but like every crisis it can EVENTUALLY be turned into an opportunity. I believe that depression has such a high recurrence rate because people that don’t come to terms with what is important to them and change their lifestyle accordingly have to eventually revisit it.

For an excellent artictle on this subject from the Mayo Clinic please see: http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/mental-behavioral-health/bipolar-disorder/living-with-bipolar-disorder/spirituality-stress-relief?msc=A62687 

If you have a view on this topic, please respond to this post.

KInd Regards

Graeme

Tags: anxiety, back from the brink, depression, depression treatments, graeme cowan, spiritual solutions

It was all going so smoothly

As many of you would know, I had my routine down pat. Rise at 5.45am, meditate for 20 minutes and then go for a 45 minute bushwalk before having breakfast and beginning my work. I felt healthy and energetic and was very productive.

Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans

Then three weeks ago I unexpectedly (is it ever expected!!!) broke my ankle when I crashed into my son on a waterslide. Last week after another xray my specialist decided to insert a plate and screws into my fibular as the fracture had become displaced. I had all these plans of things I would like to do in October and November and I’m spending most of  my time in hospitals and doctors surgeries. I now find myself rising at 8.30 and taking an hour and a half to have breakfast, clean up and have a shower. I’m eating more than I should and starting to feel a bit blarrrrrr.

Feeling sorry for myself

At the time it happened I commented that I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than go through a period of depression again. Whilst that is still true, the full impact of my injury and the limitations it places on me are just starting to really hit home. I can’t drive, so I am restricted to my house and going a bit stir crazy. I can’t put any weight on my broken leg so things like cooking, washing up, cleaning, and working become a real challenge. I’m focussing at everything I can’t do.

Then I saw a movie

On Friday night I watched “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. For those who haven’t seen it, it is the true story of the French editor of Elle magazine, who suddenly was struck down by an illness known as “locked in syndrome”.  Whilst his mind was still functioning normally, he lost movement in every muscle except his eyelid. What extraordinary frustration that man suffered as most people saw him as “vegetable” when his mind was still alert.

One blink at a time

Though a very patient speech therapist, he learnt a system whereby he would blink when she said the right letter. They had to go through this agonising process to identify the right letter, which became a word, which became a sentence, which became a paragraph, which became a chapter, which became a book. I thought I had problems writing my two books!!!!!!!!

When I was depressed…

I would have thought “interesting movie but at least he is not depressed”. Thankfully now, I’m not depressed but I’m aware that I have to take action so that I don’t slip back there again. Seeing the movie has helped me realise how “able” I am compared to the “Diving Bell”. Whilst it is difficult, today I am going to recalibrate my weekly goals and realise that I am going to need the assistance from others to get through this period.

My goals for next week

1. Rise by 6.00am, meditate and do 20 minutes of stretching
2. Eat 10% less than I have been eating
3. Reach out to family and friends via phone and email
4. Finalise a telephone seminar course designed to help carers provide the best support to those living with depression.

I’ll let you know how I go.

Kind Regards

Graeme 

Tags: back from the brink, back from the brink too, depression, graeme cowan, stigma

Last week I went away with my son and his cousin on a holiday to Forster. We had a great time until we went to a fun park!!! I followed Adam down a water slide. We had a good distance between us but unbeknown to me his mat got caught on the tube.  I crashed into him at great speed and for the first time in my life I broke a bone - a fibula.  Luckily he escaped injury.

This week I was asked to speak at a forum for the Sydney Leadership Centre for Mental Health Week. I raised my leg on the table and said it highlighted the anomaly that existed in Mental Health Week. With a cast on my leg everyone wanted to help me by opening doors, carrying bags, holding lifts, holding food, asking how it happened etc. I couldn’t help comparing this experience with my time when I suffered with depression when many people are too embarrassed or don’t know how to offer help.  Even so called close and lifelong friends would evaporate because they did not know what to say or do.

Why is that we feel reluctant to offer the same level of assistance to those living with a mental illness. To be honest I would rather have two broken legs and two broken arms than have to go through an episode of depression again. I know that depression is much more disabling than a broken bone but in 2008 this is not generally known or acknowledged.

My wish is that when people encounter someone who isn’t coping that they show as much compassion to them as they would if they came across someone in a plaster caste. It’s time we recognized an inequity for what it is. It’s time to start breaking down the stigma walls.

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: back from the brink, back from the brink too, depression, graeme cowan, mental health week, stigma

Well the official launch happened on Tuesday September 9th at the Black Dog Institute in Randwick. It was a beautiful day and the room was filled to capacity.

The launch was MC’ed by Professor Gordon Parker, the Executive Director of the Black Dog Institute who brought us quickly up to date with some of the fantastic work the Institute is doing. One fantastic initiative they have is a computerised model called the Mood Assessment Program (MAP). This allows doctors to access the clinical expertise of the BDI. The patient fills out a computer based questionnaire that takes about an hour to complete. This then produces a diagnosis and treatment plan. It is in it’s pilot stage and is currently limited to NSW doctors but it will then be rolled out.

Professor Parker then introduced Elena Katrakis, CEO of Carers NSW who spoke on a macro level of the the extraordinary work being done by carers. She explained that their are over 2.5 million caregivers in Australia and their contribution is mostly hidden.

Professor Parker then introduced Lucy Brogden to launch BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO.  Lucy spoke with honesty and compassion about the role carers play. She then spoke very personally about the roller coaster of emotions she experienced when trying to help her husband John in his battle with depression.

The audience laughed at her attempts to medicate John by feeding him foods with high levels of serotonin such as bananas and pumpkin seeds. She then disclosed that it would take 20 kg of bananas per day to be a therapeutic dose. The amusing anecdote highlighted the length many carers go to to try to help.

Lucy stressed the importance of self care and having “me time” in order to ensure on can sustain the help to a loved one long term. It was a brilliant speech which really touched those who heard it with it’s humility and honesty and genuine desire to help.

See www.DepressionCarer.com

Finally it was my turn to talk and thank those who had helped make BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO a reality. This included the BDI, Carers NSW, the generous caregivers who had completed the survey that became the driving force behind the content of the book and many others from the mental health area too numerous to mention.

I then thanked my carers - my ex wife Susan, and my siblings. My most heartfelt thanks was reserved for my parents, Alan and Judy Cowan, who looked after me for 18 months when I couldn’t look after myself. My two books would never have happened if they hadn’t hung in there. I owe them everything.

Afterwards we enjoyed a lovely light in the courtyard. It was a proud moment after a year of research and hard work.

Full details of BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO can be found at www.DepressionCarer.com

Tonight I am in Melbourne for the Victorian launch  which has been organised by www.grow.net.au

Kind Regards

Graeme

Tags: back from the brink too, depression caregiver, depression carer, graeme cowan